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Dark Poetry #3
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Krishankins
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-06-23
Posts 972
Texas

0 posted 2002-06-30 10:59 PM


Sorrow seethes inside my soul
Hented by a hopeless heart
I long for love with lips that last
As peril peels me apart

[This message has been edited by Krishankins (07-01-2002 01:14 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 Kristopher Hankins - All Rights Reserved
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
1 posted 2002-06-30 11:15 PM


You still do very well in your 4 line format.
another good write.

~wranx

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-07-01 12:59 PM


Yr a master at the 4-liner, Kris. And yr not bad at the other forms, either!

Mike

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

Purity
Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526
Once Upon, USA
3 posted 2002-07-01 01:06 AM


Peril is another aquaintance of mine as well...and "seethes" was the perfect word. You are the one stanza tells-all master. Great!
deep_thought
Junior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 24

4 posted 2002-07-01 06:18 AM


There is something compelling about emotions crammed into as few words as possible.

"When a thought has been expressed, more words are a waste of ink"

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
5 posted 2002-07-01 09:55 AM


Friends have shoulders too
you know?
Plant the seed...
and watch it grow!!

There is a hidden message there Kris...

enjoyed you yet again!!!

Tanya

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...



arthur
Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678
england
6 posted 2002-07-02 09:12 AM


this is most interesting
arthur

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
7 posted 2002-07-02 05:54 PM


hopeless heart
do not fear
she waits for you
in wax
melting upon
your tender touch
where you drip
within her tracks

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