navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Commitment
Dark Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Commitment Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2002-06-30 09:34 PM



Commitment


We were both well seasoned,
aware of the ins and outs
of life with others,
experience mined from bitter veins.

We had both been married
too young, too long.

Independently of one another
we had both  spent some time
“specializing” in nineteen year olds
and developed similar outlooks.

“They come and they go” she said.
“I like to see them come and like to see them go” said I.

We were jaded and tired
of their earnestness,
their gullibility and their naiveté.

We were ready for a challenge.
We were ready,
to take on each other.

So, I moved into her place,
and our union was celebrated
throughout our adopted town.

Their sons and daughters, it appeared,
were now safe.

And it was good.

She pretended to fall for my
“lay down, I want to talk to you” line.
When told “I bet you taste like strawberries”
she squealed and clapped like a youngster.

No games, we had played them all.
No lies, who are you kidding?
No money, can’t fight about it.

Tab “A” and slot “B” got along famously
We had been public enough in our indiscretions
that we had no secrets.

Or so I thought.

We were together only a few days
When early one morning (for us, at least)
I was awakened by loud shrieking screams
causing me to flystumblefall downstairs
to discover Yoko Ono blaring from my stereo,
and my new love in the kitchen.

Attired in a ratty robe and old sneakers,
seated at the kitchen table,
head in hands, elbows on the table.
staring into the quarter full jelly jar,
that stood close by the half full bottle
of Old Granddad.

“Bad morning?” I inquired.
An evil and baleful stare
found its’ way out of her hair veil
and into the part of me that understands
fear.

When her eyes returned to their whiskey victim,
she explained, too calmly
and in clipped enunciation,
how every trimester in her Lunar calendar
brought to her (and now, to me)
a physical hell that could only be placated
by 86 proof and sing-along with Yoko.

“So”, I said sweetly,
as I slowly reached for the whiskey,
“where do we keep the glasses?”.


~wranx


"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

© Copyright 2002 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
Purity
Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526
Once Upon, USA
1 posted 2002-07-01 01:03 AM


I sincerely have been humbled by this epitome of your best, wranx. You totally outdid anything I would have imagined possible with this one, which is definitely a favorite of all, truly.
"well seasoned", "aware", "Independently", "specializing", "jaded", "games", "screams", "belated"enunciation", "placated", "slowly"... even "ratty". Word choice was a proof of controlled creative intelligence. Here Here!

deep_thought
Junior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 24

2 posted 2002-07-01 05:42 AM


"No games, we had played them all.
No lies, who are you kidding?
No money, can’t fight about it."

This part simply blew me away. And I LOVED the ending. Actually, I LOVED the beginning, too.And....while we're on the topic, I really LOVED the middle.

Excellent piece.

"Love is trust
Love is smell
Love is how you treat someone well under pressure."

arthur
Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678
england
3 posted 2002-07-01 09:23 AM


if you cant beat them
might as well join them
arthur

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
4 posted 2002-07-01 09:52 AM


RIGHT ON!!!

Judgement is a harsh thing...

I love your agreement here!!!

Was gonna reply yesterday, but my computer had damn fit...

loved this...

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...



wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
5 posted 2002-07-01 09:21 PM


I had a 15 year go with this one.
She is still my favorite person.
(We understand one another)

~wranx

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do...provided it's done in private and you wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Commitment

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary