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allan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620
On the road

0 posted 2002-06-26 02:33 PM


Something rotten in Amerika

Something corrupt and foul

Something stinks in Amerika

Something worth your howl


Something lost in Amerika

Something that was proud

Something stoopid in Amerika

Something dumb and loud


Something mad in Amerika

Something crass and vain

Something pathetic in Amerika

Something without a brain


Something corrupt in Amerika

Something that's fraud and greed

Something crashed in Amerika

Something to make hearts bleed

(for Worldcon)


© Copyright 2002 Allan Tierney - All Rights Reserved
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

1 posted 2002-06-26 06:02 PM


This would sound good backed by an acoustic guitar.

Though my only complaint is "something" is very vague. Especially when it's used throughout the poem -- seeming to change definitions with each verse as suits the writer's needs, rather than the writer suiting the word's needs.

Otherwise though, a nice little piece of protest.

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

allan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620
On the road
2 posted 2002-06-27 01:11 PM


Thankyou bsquirrel - I know, it's a failing I have often!
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-06-27 10:06 PM


Nah. Glad t' have yr voice here, allan.

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

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