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Dark Poetry #3

You Haven't The Right

Krishankins

Senior Member

since 2002-06-23

Posts 972
Texas

0 posted 2002-06-26 12:54 PM

You call and talk of missing love
Expecting me to care
How could I when you broke MY heart
With a love you never shared

your 100grit love is smoothing my soul

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

1 posted 2002-06-26 03:11 PM

Ouch.

Your poems are always so haunting because of their sparse minimalism. I feel this one works great as a single bullet, but I wonder what it would be like if this one were expanded to tell more of the story?

That is, if there is more to tell.

Either way, great poem.

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 2002-06-26 08:13 PM

Right to the point. Enjoyed this.

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

3 posted 2002-06-27 02:56 AM

Know this feeling well Kris...

now's when you sing the "survivor" song to me!!!

Mike is right..we are suckers here for dirty details...feel free to share!!!

Take care sweets...
ML
~D

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Purity
Senior Member

since 2001-11-20

Posts 526
Once Upon, USA

4 posted 2002-06-27 02:58 AM

When they tell you you're smothering them, and "pushing", and leave for someone else, and then return to tell you of their sadness over loss of one that told them they were smothering and pushing....???? God has a strange way about him, and yet some never learn. I relate totally...Again, Kris, excellent poem!

Anvrill
Senior Member

since 2002-06-21

Posts 710
in the interzone now

5 posted 2002-06-27 10:13 AM

I have SOOO been there..... Still getting over him, since I'm an idiot and don't seem to know the meaning of "letting go". *deep sigh*

Awesome poem.

"Sooner or later, they'll never grow up." -Jim Steinman (unreleased and almost completely unheard, but hey)

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

6 posted 2002-06-28 10:22 PM

Right to the point, nicely done. You might want to expand some more but if you feel you get your point across in a few lines, then it works

Tomer

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