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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2002-06-24 10:38 PM



This is really old. Like, first moving to California old (three years ago). Wranx's is way better. But I thought I'd share it anyway ...

Succubus
Empty bed and floor-tossed sheets,
Empty bed and floor, tossed sheets.
Light and smoke from open air,
Light and smoke from open-air.
Broken mirror seven calendars old,
Broken mirror seven; calendar's old.
Lipstick caskets in the sink,
Lipstick (caskets) in the sink.
Skin like a wind-down clock,
Skin, like a wind-down clock?
Mouth like an ocean tide,
Mouth-like: an ocean tide.
Earthquake-beautiful starless night,
Earthquake, beautiful starless night.
Be gentle please be gentle inside,
Be gentle, please be gentle, inside.
Hands and faces distant future,
Hands and faces, distant future.
Arms and legs distant past,
Arms, and legs distant, past.
So many drinks, so many favors,
So many drinks, so many flavors.
So many times in the glass,
So many times cracking glass.
Unsettled and unknown,
Unsettled, and unknown.
Body's lost control,
Body's lost; control.
Breathing hot bedside bore,
Breathing hot bedside, bore.
It's exactly like you said it was,
It's exactly like you said, it was.

"Whore rhymes with door,
But widow doesn't rhyme with window."

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
1 posted 2002-06-24 10:52 PM


Could this be better, bitter remembered?
Could this be better bitter, remembered?

Thanks for your Succubus, I believe mine was more fun (girl, not poem).

~wranx

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-06-24 10:53 PM


  I know! No fair!

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
3 posted 2002-06-24 10:58 PM


Sorry, squirrel dude, couldn't help it.

Just walked through that open door.

Peace,

~wranx

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

Purity
Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526
Once Upon, USA
4 posted 2002-06-25 04:03 AM


Geesus...the ties that bind and gag...
Two totally different takes on the same theme, and yet both titilizing....
Maybe themes of a dream?
Maybe a need for more duels of verse?
Either way, you both work well together, and likewise unto each own. I dig!

Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now
5 posted 2002-06-25 09:44 AM


And I remember this one, too. Dipping into the past, are we?

*kisses*

Now, Mr. Mope, no more writing lost and half-bitter things 'bout grrls, k?

"I'd rather be anything but ordinary, please." -Avril Lavigne

kinson
Member
since 2002-05-13
Posts 66
somewhere between here and there
6 posted 2002-06-25 01:39 PM


yea your succubus poem is better, big deal, enjoyed
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

7 posted 2002-06-25 06:53 PM


Thank you.
Thank, you?

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

Krishankins
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-06-23
Posts 972
Texas
8 posted 2002-06-26 12:48 PM


i'm flippin' out here! I like things that stimulate the mind, and this does.
Wonderful Mike,
Wonderful, Mike!

your 100grit love is smoothing my soul

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

9 posted 2002-06-26 06:04 PM


These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

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