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wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2002-06-22 11:17 AM



On the 1st day of Christmas
I awoke in Mickies’ bed
Hung over, sick and very late for work
Due to the several hours that this new friend and I
Spent getting acquainted at the bar where we met
And later at her apartment
So I toddled off to work
Reeking of Old Granddad and Young Lady

On the 2nd day of Christmas
I awoke in Mickies’ bed
Late for work, still drunk
And thus, went a reeking off to work
To discover there, a miracle, a windfall, a day off
Or two
The restaurant next to the one where I worked
Had been destroyed by fire in the night
So, I cruise back to Mickie

On the 3rd day of Christmas
I slept

On the 4th day of Christmas
I sat fidgeting in my car
With my handgun in my jacket
While just outside, Mickie was getting some closure
From her drug dealer ex-boyfriend
Which is to say that he owed her money or drugs

On the 5th day of Christmas
Mickie and I walked back to her place
After closing the bar across the street
Again
I decided to “rape” her in the dirty dark hallway
In her building

On the 6th day of Christmas
Mickie and I ate a bunch of “magic” mushrooms
Then went to Happy Hour at a local seafood joint
Where we spent too much time
Watching the fish in the aquarium behind the bar
That is, until my boss, who at that moment
Looked like St Nick himself
Joined us at the bar, causing us to flee
Back to my place to have some very squid-like sex

On the 7th day of Christmas
Mickie and I spent the evening playing
With the handcuffs (fur-lined)
That she had given me
And the vibrator (pink)
That her sister had given her

On the 8th day of Christmas
I slept

On the 9th day of Christmas
Mickie and I crashed a Holiday Party
Hosted by a local Attorney
Who specialized in pleading his D.W.I. clients
Guilty for the bargain price of $1200.00
While there, we drank half a bottle
Of 100 year old Grand Marnier
Persuaded a fifty-ish librarian to eat some mushrooms
Snorted up about $400 worth of someones’ cocaine
Were generally obnoxious to everyone
And took a cab the four blocks back to Mickies’

On the 10th day of Christmas
The drunken Slap and Tickle was interrupted
By a knock on the door
Standing there in the hall was Willa
A girl that I had been spending time with
Until she went off to the annual Rainbow Gathering
“I know you have a girl in there” says she
“I have’nt heard from you in three months” says I
“I want to see you, please let me in” says she
“You know that I have company” says I
“I’m open minded” says she
“Wait here” says I
Alas, it turns out that Mickie was not “open minded”

On the 11th day of Christmas
I was sitting in the bar with Willa
When Mickie joined us and announced
That if I wanted any of the clothes, smokes, cash, drugs
That I left in her place
I could find them in the dumpster behind her building

On the 12th day of Christmas
I returned home from work to be greeted
By Mickies’ ugly orange cat, a bag of food, litter and a note
That asked me to please care for Max  
As she had an imminent court date that she was sure
Would result in incarceration for 2-3 years minimum
It seems that her ex-beau had turned States’ Evidence on her

On the 13th day of Christmas
I put Max out on the roof
And slept

________________________________________________
I briefly consisdered posting this in the "Holiday" forum.

Merry Christmas, one and all.

~wranx

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

© Copyright 2002 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
1 posted 2002-06-22 02:17 PM


Well... only thing that I can say is...

Ho, Ho, freakin' HO!"

*chuckles*
~Tier"

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-06-22 02:57 PM


I love your writing, wranx. Very sad and very pure. The heartbreakingly mundane brought into violent relief. Thanks for postin' it.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

arthur
Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678
england
3 posted 2002-06-22 07:41 PM


I must protest
that was a terrible thing to do
put the poor cat out on the roof
but then
Cats like roofs
I enjoyed
arthur

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
4 posted 2002-06-23 12:35 PM


Oh my God! It's true. I am heartbreakingly mundane. Now, I shall draw a hot bath, and find my razor.

Woe, woe, Whoa!

It ain't THAT bad. I'm sure the world is plumb full of heartbreakingly mundane people, just like me!

Gosh, I feel just like a little ray of sunshine!

~wranx

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-06-23 03:09 PM


I don't know about you, but "Woe, woe -- whoa!" is a great idea for a poem.

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

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