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Dark Poetry #3
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Final rain (a duet between Tiersdin and bsquirrel)
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Final rain (a duet between Tiersdin and bsquirrel) |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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This is a repost from Open 21, where it died a much-ignored death.  Let's try again...Final rain I remember the salty taste of your fingertips brushing my lips in the rain. Your words were lightning upon my thundered form. The way your eyes burned urgency into my soul laying your claim -- how completely and securely you bound me in love's rapture. Watch the pines catch the rain in their green arms. I wish I could hold onto you in mine. Send me a sign, for you are gone and I have become a desert parched and aching for your kiss to awaken my lips with the sweet waters of your mouth. My Joshua arms raise up high to try to find you in the sky. Wondering where in the sun's light you chose to die. Unfold your wings, my angel and sweep me away like before when I once mattered more than a million freedoms --I need you. Let me drink your final rain in drizzle from your wings. Let me hear you say your words in notes of old somethings. Let me follow you into the autumn of the ground. Let me find the way to play the music of your sound. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Bravo! gents I am going to try to determine who is who in this, right or wrong it'll be fun. I have myself, come to the conclusion, that if it absolutely, positively needs to be read?...Post it in Dark I also have a piece dying a slow and agonizing death 'mongst the butterflies and puppies. ~wranx "Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Some of the butterflies in open are amazing, though. There's some great talent on that forum. It's just sooo huge, that it's easy to get lost in all the flappin' and yappin'. I should trademark that.She said burn ... together. |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Wranx... if you call me a gent one more time, I'm going to have to strangle you! I am female- born so with no plans of changing! & FYI, I love the male species exclusively.. end of message, bye-bye, see you later... *chuckles* ~Tier |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Yikes, I..uh..well...Jeez. I'm new here see, and..I'm just getting to know everyone, and well, basically I'm just a moron. I do like your posts though, Ms. "Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein. |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
this even died a much-ignored death again I came across this and thought it could use a breath of life  lol be scared very scared I know cpr errr nm it's the painkillers I'm taking talking...enjoyed obviously I want 2 cry now cos well I dunno cos I can  If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
TWO MORE that I miss... |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Yes, I've missed both of these folks. And this was in "Open"? |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Good God this is beauty . . . xxoo |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
So where are they? MIKEY!!!!!!!!! |
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a_hollowman Junior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 30Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
Gentle afternoon to all! This piece, I must confess, tore into my inner spirit with a flare of brilliance. bsquirrel, it's great to finally see you post something in Dark Poetry #3 again. I've heard much about your talent, from Local Parasite, who a propos is a connaissance of mine who introduced me to piptalk. Your finesse in sense and visual description exceeds you in reputation, and this piece distills no exception from that. As for Tiersdin, your part in this is undefined to me, although I am assuaged to believe that you certainly helped... define this poem. The work you two collaborated to provide is excellent, and I applaud your efforts.  *Clap, clap, clap!* - a_hollowman P.S. Pardon my french, thanks! |
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Dragon Mistress Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289Washington, USA. |
*wipes away a tear* Oh wow. I new it had been way too long since I've read your work. This one literally brought a tear to my eyes. Beautiful...Oh wow. What more can I say than that?! I hope all is well outside of the poetry world! Tanya ~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~ |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
brillant as always, bsquirrel, brillant...this pooem is...my words can't do justice to the feeling this poem gave me... |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
It's pretty cool to see this poem come up again. Thanks everyone for the nice comments. In all honesty, this is the one piece that Mikey & I blended together so well on this project, it was hard for a reader to discern who was who. That's what was so special about it. Final rain (It's hard to say which of us wrote these, I'll let Mikey discern). I remember the salty taste of your fingertips brushing my lips in the rain. Your words were lightning upon my thundered form. Tiersdin The way your eyes burned urgency into my soul laying your claim -- how completely and securely you bound me in love's rapture. Mikey: Watch the pines catch the rain in their green arms. I wish I could hold onto you in mine. Tiersdin: Send me a sign, for you are gone and I have become a desert parched and aching for your kiss to awaken my lips with the sweet waters of your mouth. Mikey: My Joshua arms raise up high to try to find you in the sky. Wondering where in the sun's light you chose to die. Tiersdin: Unfold your wings, my angel and sweep me away like before when I once mattered more than a million freedoms --I need you. Mikey: Let me drink your final rain in drizzle from your wings. Let me hear you say your words in notes of old somethings. Let me follow you into the autumn of the ground. Let me find the way to play the music of your sound. Again, thanks all... ~Tier |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
This is very beautiful... Ethel |
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