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Dark Poetry #3
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the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

0 posted 2002-06-14 04:15 PM



When I am tired of this world
I just go and hide in my room
And I think of all the doom

I can't write
I can't think
Nothing is bright
All I see is the dark

Make the darkness disappear
When I try all it does is reappear
I need a helping hand
From my friendship band

When I am tired
I am inspired
Sometimes to think bad thoughts
I need the answer to questions I have sought

Cold hands means a warm heart

© Copyright 2002 the_loner_23 - All Rights Reserved
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
1 posted 2002-06-14 11:56 PM


Julie, This is an honest rendering of emotion.
I liked this one far better than "Mean Dog".
Of course, I may be too dense to "get" it.

~wranx

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

arthur
Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678
england
2 posted 2002-06-15 06:33 AM


alas
some questions dont have answers
arthur

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-06-20 09:50 PM


I really enjoyed this. Don't ever force yr rhymes though. (hand and band) Have y' tried this one with the same structure, only not rhyming? I'd bet it would be great.

I liked this.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

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