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Dark Poetry #3

Theres a girl in my room

kinson
Member

since 2002-05-13

Posts 66
somewhere between here and there

0 posted 2002-06-05 12:43 PM

In the night you visit me
Where its dark and I cant see
What is shadow and what is real
I reach for you with my hand
And its then i understand
Its my heart you came to steal
Now your gone and I dont know
If you left or I made you go
It doesnt matter cause your gone
In my mind I draw you in
Out of lust to feed my sin
But you leave by light of dawn

jenn08
Junior Member

since 2002-05-29

Posts 12
Wa, USA

1 posted 2002-06-05 09:08 PM

This shows much personal emotions behind it. Well written

arthur
Senior Member

since 2001-08-14

Posts 678
england

2 posted 2002-06-06 03:22 PM

this is good
wish it were mine
arthur

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2002-06-06 04:09 PM

Very very well written.
Enjoyed.
~Hugs~

powerofthysword
Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 116
Glendale, AZ USA

4 posted 2002-06-07 01:04 AM

Really good, I sense a lot of emotion and
drama behind this one, very well structured
and an excellent choice of words to vividly
extract a colorful, yet sullen meaning.

Staring into the sun just makes you blind to what beauty actually exists in the sky.

Neala
Member

since 1999-08-21

Posts 262
Florida, USA

5 posted 2002-06-10 09:24 PM

Wow..chris..I really liked it.
-Neala

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-06-24 01:25 AM

Reminds me of Type O Negative's "Haunted," about a succubus. But yours has a better title.

These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.
-RHCP

Anvrill
Senior Member

since 2002-06-21

Posts 710
in the interzone now

7 posted 2002-06-24 10:37 AM

Even before I read Mike's response, I was thinkin' Succubus. Although my song-relation was to Cruxshadows Insomnia (A Ghost Story).

Now, if you're getting me referencing Cruxshadows and Mike referencing Type O to one poem ... that's VERY good!

Feel my angsty reachiness!

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