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Dark Poetry #3
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Encarta
Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 101
My homeland is not of the world

0 posted 2002-06-01 01:59 PM


Rain
by,
Matthew

What is the rain?
Can the sky feel pain?
Does it have eyes,
From which to cry?

Can it see us die?
If so, does it sigh?
Does it have ears,
From which to hear?

Can it speak?
Of the havoc we reek?
With fire we seal our fate
With poisoned air we suffocate.

We will die, and it's our fault.
The process we can no longer halt.
With pollution we cut Earth's vein,
And it gushes out the rain.
I know it's not too good.I was concidering rewritting it, but I don't fell like working on this poem anymore.

© Copyright 2002 James M. Hohne - All Rights Reserved
Necro Draconis
Member
since 2000-05-19
Posts 115

1 posted 2002-06-02 01:01 AM


The poet decides whether to revise or not to revise, and that you did Good job!

If this is reality, I want out.

Purity
Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526
Once Upon, USA
2 posted 2002-06-02 04:01 AM


Can it speak of the havoc we reek...

You try to undermine your own work here, and yet Arthur Rimbaud, or even his worshipper Paul Verlaine would idolize you for this line. They both are poignant marks in poetic history, so way to go! I was impressed at the simplistic way of your conveying a point, but not without a few poetic geniuses... Well done.

[This message has been edited by Purity (06-02-2002 04:02 AM).]

blakloks
Member
since 2002-06-01
Posts 60

3 posted 2002-06-02 11:33 PM


this is sho sho good
MIdsummerRain
Member
since 2002-05-19
Posts 175
St. Louis, Missouri
4 posted 2002-06-04 03:25 AM


Ah, the rain ,`tis a mystery to me as well my friend; though you have portrayed it well! ~Rayne

For in much wisdom is much grief
& he who increases knowledge
    increases sorrow...
                  Eccl. 1:18

arthur
Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678
england
5 posted 2002-06-05 05:30 AM


thank you for you poem
arthur

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