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Dark Poetry #3
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veil nulet
New Member
since 2002-05-14
Posts 4


0 posted 2002-05-23 08:00 AM


I think I've worked it out- why you cried
your side of the clutch when I dropped you home.
We'd exhausted a night, in cars, on roads,
in rooms as bright and false as Christmas.
I suppose that's when you felt the divide
detaching you from this our jumbled past,
depriving all these things of shape, or weight,
and leaving words redundant props- you closed
the car door. I was dumb as any brute.

...So here we are again again my heart
once more just point-of-contact for your boot.

                        (May 2001)

© Copyright 2002 veil nulet - All Rights Reserved
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
1 posted 2002-05-23 02:02 PM


digging this - "in rooms as bright and false as Christmas" THAT is awesome. love the line, love the intent. look forward to more of these.

Christopher

[This message has been edited by Christopher (05-23-2002 02:04 PM).]

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-05-23 03:22 PM



I like the fact that Christopher picked up on the same line...it either means I'm looking at things his way...or he's looking at things my way...

A very good read.  Thanks!

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (05-23-2002 03:22 PM).]

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
3 posted 2002-05-23 05:02 PM


And boy this is scary as I loved those lines as well, really awesome writing.  I will be looking for more poetry from you, just excellent.

~* Tell someone in your family that you love them today *~

darkstar
Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 230
Port Richey, Fl, USA
4 posted 2002-05-23 08:35 PM


Wow. That was really awesome. Why does everyone like the same lines? I know I'm one of that little group who does. Anyways, I loved it.

*darkstar*

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

5 posted 2002-05-24 06:48 AM


~grins~

I picked up on that same line - gee, there's my personal philosophy on the 'holiday' season in 7 words...

I like this..softer than the first, but with so much impact...liking the brute line also..

so glad you posted this matey...

K

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