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Jessica
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350
South AL

0 posted 2002-05-21 12:11 PM



Mistakes
Regrets
I’m sorry
Forget
Never that
Now there’s no turning back
Now there’s something I lack
How it could have been
Will always be a question and never a fact
Involved in these sessions
This self- therapy
And I really can’t tell if I’m helping me
This stained memory will carry on further
Did I save my future or did I commit a murder?
And if I’m a murderer why can’t I kill my past?
Time travels fast and the emptiness is vast
I’ve made it my known craft
To make decisions that are bad
Not saying that I’m proud
I’m just a truth telling gal
No matter how foul
This is the truth about my child
That I never gave a chance
To breathe the breath of life
How trife could I be?
Sweetie, I’m sorry
Mommy didn’t know any better at the time
Now the only time I feel at peace
Is within the scheme of my rhyme
Young and so wise
Is what’s seen through other eyes
Living for myself has been the head of my demise
Now my feet wish to rewind
My body calls out cries
My heart is not at ease
When I deny you were alive
I can picture your pretty eyes
As the tears fall down mine
You were a victim of circumstance
That I chose to leave behind
On the other side of the phone line
Your grandmother must ask where she went wrong
When her daughter would give up life for the price of a song
Or the feel of a poem
She just couldn’t see that I didn’t have a choice
Or maybe I couldn’t see that I chose my voice over you
Such a need to be heard
I threw away the center- piece of my puzzle
So confused
All I ever wanted was to do right by you
Give you the life you deserved
All you deserved was the life
How could I be so blind?
How could I give up the fight?
I could have done it without daddy by my side
I could have given you all the love I’ve got inside
I could have made all right
So forgive me, precious love
Don’t hold it against me
I know your looking down above
Please give me the strength I seek
Because of you I know
I have to be the best that I could be
Make it in this world to the highest degree
To give purpose to a decision made so falsely
There is no changing what I have done
I have to try to make it
So the choice was the right one
Excuses there are none
My days I regard with scorn
Seeking ultimate salvation
Through My First Unborn


© Copyright 2002 Jessica Langford - All Rights Reserved
darkstar
Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 230
Port Richey, Fl, USA
1 posted 2002-05-21 03:54 PM


Wow, that was awesome. I had three miscarriages so I can almost relate. I know what it's like to sit there and wonder what could have been. I'm sorry for what happened. I know it must have been very hard for you to make that decision.

*darkstar*

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
2 posted 2002-05-22 08:01 AM


Your poem was so well done showing the internal pain caused by these types of decisions in life.  I hope you find some peace for yourself in your writing if this is from your own life experience.  

  

~* Carpe' Diem *~

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727
Wisconsin
3 posted 2002-05-22 09:54 PM


This is awesome sweetie, such heartfelt pain and regret... everything happens for some reason, we all make mistakes, just be sure to learn from it and continue on.  Thats all anybody could ask for.

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.



LadyPeach1
Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 282

4 posted 2002-05-23 10:16 AM


That was one of THE BEST poems I've ever read on Dark passions.  That poem just totally drew me in and trapped me.  That was so beautiful, you expressed your feelings so beautifully.  I'm so sorry for what happened.  Everything will be ok!  Take care.
LP1

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2002-05-23 06:05 PM


Oh my...

Ouch, m'friend.

I KNOW.


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