navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Untitled/You Decide
Dark Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Untitled/You Decide Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Jaime
Registered
Member
Posts 250


0 posted 2002-12-14 10:56 PM


I wrote this for english class. Surprisingly my teacher let me read it to the class. I'll warn you ahead of time, it's pretty long. Not normally my style (the length), but she wanted a long narrative poem. So here we go.

Untitled/You Decide

I could feel the silence transparent and twirling
About me like smoke from a fire, whispering
The words that I needed/craved/desired
To hear: you’re alone.

This was my sign, the signaling flare
To let me know that it’s okay to run now.
It’s okay to go.

And I could feel it already swelling in my
Pregnant mind, me getting dressed

Jeans/sweater/shoes/hat/and no,
Not the purse, no one will be calling me

And then walking through the hallway,
Brimming with anticipation so intense
That I could barely force myself to walk

I wanted to run

(and in time I would fly)

The door so thick and white, made
Me wonder if doors really like being doors
And I bet that they don’t. I almost felt
Despair in closing it behind me and walking
Away, but surely he would understand that
I have a call to answer to

Out on the deck and then down the steps,
Each one stretching farther than the rest
I felt myself stomping in trying to match
But I do not stretch

I would starve myself on the illusions
Of my own image and view, I wondered
If they’d say “Isn’t she photogenic?” and
“She was so pretty”

The hags.

The dogs.

I’ll show them all

And I found myself tearing up,
I remembered the day he hung himself

He was only 13.

I could picture his parents finding
(a-swinging, oh a-swinging)
Their little son
In the basement, there were no
Trees

I wonder if he could still hear them
Arguing after they buried him 6 feet cold
Over how deep the gorges really go

“We’ll show them,” I told him,
“We’ll let everybody know.”

Your children are not safe, this
Epidemic grows and he hides in the beds
Of your bubblegum ambition

(so much for roses)

You can’t hide in the bedroom,
You can’t go down the stairs,
You can’t run out the door –
The killer is already there

And he said, “See you in hell.”

As my black chucks hit the
Pavement, I could in tune hear
The death bell toll

The executioner’s swing never misses
Anything and I for one was prepared
To lose a wing

The bloodied feathers, I imagined, would
Scatter out over the sidewalk where
Communicative little girl scouts
Leave their empty chalk trails

Square blocks, I skipped the rock –
It’s all going to wash away
With the next rain

Getting closer now,
I felt my heart pound

I wondered if they’d be there

But I would not hold it against them
If they did not show up, not everyone
Is able to die for the rest of us

The pounding became a slow
Encompassing drowned,
Fell into my well and I can’t
Get out now

Sinking and sinking,
Rolling over again I said,
“Give me courage”

(Give me death)

I felt him nudging me towards
Our destination, I guess perhaps
I had slowed down

Mind moving faster than my feet,
My tongue shriveled and cussed -
It burst into flies

They scatter now,
Ready to eat me after
I die

And when I saw them,
I felt my breath disappear

The 8 of them, nameless,
Gathered by where the sliding
Board used to be

(now it’s some kind of rocking machine)

I smiled, for it is now
Complete – the eyes will burn
But in our fates they will
Learn

To look for the karma lines
And the gun chambers leaking
Out from the insides

Not because I heard it from
Some rap song, or from a rock video
It wasn’t on TV or a video game

Naked, your claim is dry and weathered
If you want to save your children
From the whipping blade –

Spare us your convenience blames

As a whole/society/breathing state
Our eyes are bleeding and
Oozing down the sides of our faces

We have to find,
For finding’s sake
What takes hold
Inside our beds

I hope you’re bleeding
For more than just good sex
Behind closed doors

I really hope
That you’re looking for more

So there I was, in the trailer park
Playground where all can see (but no
One sees)

The monkey bars looking like they
Might just join in with us

I think we greeted each other,
A simple hello

It really didn’t matter
What words there were to say,
We sat down in a circle and
As planned

Pulled out our blades

I didn’t see who started
I think I began to cry

Frustrated by my puddles and my
Blue sky spells, I cut a deep and
Jagged gash into my wrist

They disappeared then,
All of them

As I laid down heavy
On the wood chips floor,
I felt the blood rushing out
Of my weedy tomb

They were definitely gone
Now, I heard only the crow
Mocking our salute

Dying and withering,
Only ashes now

I saw the feathers scatter
Over the hard ground
(bloody/torn)

I was convinced then

Your sins won’t be ignored

“Neither will yours,” he said to me, but
I could see him no more

On my tombstone I wondered if they’d write
“God Bless Her Soul” to pair with the
Plastic flowers of their guilty appreciation

But wonder no more would I
For you see in the next few moments

I died.

Life is where you look for it.

© Copyright 2002 Jaime - All Rights Reserved
PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
1 posted 2002-12-15 05:06 AM


The poem was over before it began, memina. You wrote it so well, it... pulled me in to where I forgot myself, and focused on you and the unfolding plot, a perfect (in my opinion) long narrative.

Haunting. An exceptional piece, memina. I'll say more later, but it's 3am here. Goodnight.

~Daniel

"A life unexamined is not worth living."
                       -Socrates

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
2 posted 2002-12-15 03:37 PM


I agree, in that,
you drew me into this.
I couldn't stop reading
though I was chilled
and pulled back in my seat,
sqeezing my own wrists
to make sure that even I
was alive at that moment.

Amazingly well done, keep it up.
Always, GG

- And so it was that time stood still -

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-12-18 12:06 PM


Well-written and potent. A pleasure to read, even though so disturbing. You're a wonderful poet.

Mike

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Untitled/You Decide

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary