Slicing Into Me - pipTalk Forums

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Lil OnE
Member

since 1999-12-14

Posts 234
Pasco County. Fl.

0 posted 2002-04-11 03:18 PM

As I listen to your words,
sometimes the lack-there-of,
I take them in... tasting them, dissecting them,
swallowing them and digesting them,
I find that it is sadness
that slices into me.

As I see what you have done,
seeing also all that you haven't done
and seeing all that you have been,
I find that it is betrayal
that slices into me.

When I look into your eyes,
seeing all the truth
and uncovering all the lies
seeing what I see,
I find that it is hate
that slices into me.

When I look into my own eyes
and find the blackness
that shadows my past
and covers all that I could be,
I find that it is anger
that slices into me.

When I look at all that surrounds me
at the world
and how truly messed up
it all really is,
I find that it is hopelessness
that slices into me.

And as I look at the people all around me
at who and what they are
all the same things that I will never be,
I find that it is jealousy
that slices into me.

Now, as I stop
and take the time to experience
all the things I am feeling inside,
I find that it is hurt
that slices into me.

"No man is EVER worth my tears, and the only one who is will never make me cry"
~Lil OnE!~

NapalmsConstantlyConfused

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 529

1 posted 2002-04-11 10:38 PM

this is true, hurt can feel like a knife... sometimes a hurt is so sharp that we don't realize how deep it went until later, when something reminds us.
this is very good, and i look forward to reading more of your work.

Purity
Senior Member

since 2001-11-20

Posts 526
Once Upon, USA

2 posted 2002-04-12 12:53 PM

And as I read your words,
hope, jealousy, anger, hopelessness, hurt, betrayal, sadness...all the strongest negatives that have sliced into you,
I realize the positiveness of strength and endurance that encompasses the inner you.
The immunity to these pangs of life can
potentially make it more grand when you finally get to that space of happiness that everyone deserves to finally imbibe, if you don't callous your heart from all those negative words.
An excellent work with powerful feelings. Good luck to you, and I hope you get to your "space"!~!

Lil OnE
Member

since 1999-12-14

Posts 234
Pasco County. Fl.

3 posted 2002-04-12 02:00 PM

thank you both for your replies. I haven't posted in a LONG time and I'm happy to see that people here are still as friendly. Thank you much!!!!

"No man is EVER worth my tears, and the only one who is will never make me cry"
~Lil OnE!~

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

4 posted 2002-04-13 02:44 AM

Nice poem. I like your repeating theme of what it is that slices into you. With regards to your stanza about people being all that you won't ever be, you might like to check out Shakespeare's sonnet with the first line "When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes". Can't remember which sonnet that is. Dunnno, u might see that others have felt that kind of jealousy before.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

[This message has been edited by fractal007 (04-13-2002 02:46 AM).]

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

5 posted 2002-04-17 11:04 AM

Not meaning for any bad cliches or anything but I find your words slicing into me..I know all those feelings all too well and your poem painted his face in my mind again...and now I remember why it never did work out between us..I did highly enjoy this..

Kristen

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