navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Where Did We Lose?
Dark Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Where Did We Lose? Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Purity
Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526
Once Upon, USA

0 posted 2002-04-08 02:59 AM



Sitting shotgun, awaiting arrival
to a place we all hate to go
The loss unbearable as it is, continues
as those we've not, for some strange reason,
had a reason to see in years hug us with tears
and those we've never met, seem endless
as they enter, but for the same as I
Sitting shotgun, the beauty of the Earth
rarely having a reason to stop and notice
makes me weep even more...the question
starts to sink in

Losing employ, debts perpetuate
to a place we all hate to be
The struggles hopeless as they are, refuse
as we try, for some strange reason,
to find a reason, any reason, to overcome fears
continue to blast and bombard the weak concept
as they pile, and we, what, hope? Continue to try?
Losing employ, the glory of the Heart
rarely getting the chance to matter and tug
opens emotions I try to hide...the question
begs its notice

Reclusing to observation, just wondering
to a place that we all hate to think
The headlines bleak as they are, manipulate
as we fail, for some strange reason,
to fight against the programming and control
for complication is what turns the world
as all forget...the reason...the meaning
Reclusing to observation, I sink, reminescing
remove and restrain all bad...the question
I give full attention.

I deviate, now, from the scheme of past lines
Where did we lose it all?
Glimpses we are given daily, in small kind acts
and in smiles invoked by animals being lively,
sunset being more grand than noticed before,
children doing the unexpected...not the norm
But, sadly, tomorrow dictates worldly necessities
that we created so as not to remember...
So, tonite, I thought I'd meander a bit
but don't worry, the world will try me to forget
Yet, here and now, which cannot be raped, pilaged,
stolen, borrowed, or destroyed...the question
was re-presented to myself...
and to you.
Where did we lose?


© Copyright 2002 Carrigan Chantz - All Rights Reserved
EveGnosis
Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300
New York, USA
1 posted 2002-04-09 03:23 AM


"to a place we all hate"...the thing that most made me slam into a stop! deep, and thought provoking. i know you are saying that the beauty of it all is in the simplest of things God created, and yet we taint it with dark colors of this sad, messed up world.
i did take time to think on this one. where did we lose it, purity, and how do we regain it while still here? love conquers time and everything except reality knocking on your door telling you that you're evicted because you didn't pay rent, or telling you that your power is being cut off, or telling you that your brother died. where did we lose it? better to say, why do we fail to keep it? i love this, and you for sharing your center of emotions. i know that you've suffered a deep loss, and yet, maybe we can all learn from the beauty you speak out of this all. good luck to you. thanks for another awesome piece of your heart.

[This message has been edited by EveGnosis (04-09-2002 03:25 AM).]

Purity
Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526
Once Upon, USA
2 posted 2002-04-09 01:09 PM


Your words offer welcome respite. Again, I thank you.
fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

3 posted 2002-04-13 02:53 AM


Dang!
I don't know why more people haven't replied to this one.  This is a really good poem.  Definitely very philosophical in nature.  I like the way you mentioned in passing, in the final stanza, that you were deviating from your previous form.  That made the poem even more effective in conveying its message about an often fragmented and disjointed inconsistant society.

Awesome job!

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

LadyPeach1
Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 282

4 posted 2002-04-14 12:08 PM


WOW !  Words can't even begin to explain what an incredible poem that was!  
GREAT JOB !!  There should be more replies on this!
LadyPeach

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Where Did We Lose?

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary