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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Red Dress
Dark Poetry #3
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Neala
Member
since 1999-08-21
Posts 262
Florida, USA
0 posted 2001-12-21 08:52 PM

I havn't been here in a really lond time sorry about that. I might be a little rusty.
---------------------------
Now I'm Gone
Its Saturday Morn'
I sall you last night
Lookin' at her
In that Red Dress
With that look
In your Eyes
I only thought I could get

I thought I love you
But you left me
For that Red Dress
That Friday Night
That Red Dress took you
Away

Now its Sunday Morn'
And I'm all alone
You got that Red Dress
That took you away
Now I am feelin' the pain from leavin'
I can't help it
Cause you go that Red Dress

I thought I love you
But you left me
That Friday Night
That Red Dress took you
Away

-Neala
Goddess of Sadness
© Copyright 2001 Rachel Parrish - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2001-12-22 02:14 AM

Yeah Neala you have to watch out for those red dresses...red is my favorite color...James
Neala
Member
since 1999-08-21
Posts 262
Florida, USA
2 posted 2001-12-26 10:30 PM

I know what you mean those red dresses are real killers.
PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
3 posted 2001-12-29 06:37 PM

Wow, I enjoyed this piece. Sad, but well written. Just one thought. I'd change

"...took you.
away"

too

...took you...
took you away."

Just a thought. GOd bless.

Sincerely,
Titus
Neala
Member
since 1999-08-21
Posts 262
Florida, USA
4 posted 2001-12-29 06:47 PM

That is not a bad idea Titus.

-Neala

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them.
DawnG
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
5 posted 2001-12-30 11:32 AM

Neala,

Think we can outlaw red dresses? LOL.

                         Dawn
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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Red Dress

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