navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Bereven
Dark Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Bereven Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
LadySofia
Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 238
FL., USA

0 posted 2001-12-19 01:04 AM


I lie awake, keen to the sounds of your breath
Softly inhale, then loudly exhale
A rhythmic droning never ceasing
Sigh! My dreamboat may never set sail

Time continues to whisper softly
Its voice a steady tick, tick, tick
Deep down I wish for flesh and quiet eyes
But I remind myself he's sick

Dawn approaches me, a faint line of blue
The light streaming forth from depths unknown
The man that lies beside me
Slowly awakens, and begins full-blown

His voice berating my gentle ears
Had only just relaxed their guard
Stings the eyes that had watched your chest
Rise and fall with the music of a bard

I leave be, yet ever still a tempest hidden
Mayhap soon released of its confines
As my eyes flutter to the window
It is a sign my soul yet pines


[This message has been edited by LadySofia (12-19-2001 01:09 AM).]

© Copyright 2001 Amanda Piatt - All Rights Reserved
Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
1 posted 2001-12-23 04:29 AM


Strong images, excellent onomatopoeia, and a conveyance of feelings; I'd say you've got it down.

You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. -- Navajo Proverb

LadySofia
Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 238
FL., USA
2 posted 2001-12-23 06:16 PM


Thanks sweety for posting; this isn't one of my best, really. But when you lie awake through the night and your signifigant awakens to utter befoul words...the poem afterwards isn't normally bright with sunshine! lol

^_^ LadySofia

madam, you have bereft me of all words —Shakespeare>

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Bereven

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary