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CherryBlossom
Junior Member
since 2001-10-13
Posts 14
Communicate!

0 posted 2001-10-16 11:58 PM


Can I lie beside you, my dear?
And rest my head upon your chest?
I know you may not feel my touch,
Or hear my voice,
Not even say a word.
But let me feel
For one last time
And remember what it was
To hold you in my arms...
What a shock to feel
Your skin so still and cold.
Alas...
Let me imagine that I hear
Your singing soul
Although the music
From your heart
Has ceased to share it's tunes...
That lovely minstrel
Never again to be heard...


________________
Bah. Unfinished poem. O.o I know it's horrible...

Reality is a doctrine.

© Copyright 2001 CherryBlossom - All Rights Reserved
alibaster
Member
since 2001-07-07
Posts 299
In my own private hell...(PA).
1 posted 2001-10-17 07:13 AM


Actually, it is not terrible, just the opposite...the idea behind it is a grand one and made me think with my fist cup of coffee this morning, and that is always a good thing!!
Finish adding what you want a re-post please, I would love to read the completed version...
Until...ali

"There is an alter ego which dwells within every soul." (C)alibaster 1999-2001

"Sleep those little slices of death, how I loathe them." Edgar Allan

Baroni
Member
since 2001-10-14
Posts 94
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2001-10-17 03:02 PM


I agree with ali... not horrible at all.  I think the pain of loss comes across clearly....  Well done.
qtpieelmo
Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY
3 posted 2001-10-20 09:56 PM


A poem ends when the writer says it does--this could be the end or you can come change it at anytime--the choice is yours--none the less it's still great & heartfelt   LOVE ELMO
cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
4 posted 2001-10-20 10:38 PM


not horrible at all- i can see that this poem has a lot of potential blossom  . im looking forward to the finished version of this- so HURRY!!

see the glass crack like a flower opening


       

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