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Dark Poetry #3
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carolinadreams
Member
since 2000-07-20
Posts 142


0 posted 2001-10-01 03:54 AM



beaten down, mind and all
told too much, and wronged by what was said
changed, yes, that's to be expected
arranged by only the dtested

dismayed of course, but that's what is
displayed on course, but that's what's his
Play, so we seem
Stay so he can gleam
wrong with me?????
wrong with what???

just where is it that I give anymore
listening I change what I can't store
explain ?

it's like asking a blind man what the color green looks like
it's all relative anyways

change is within the numb, but exchange has only just begun

J.L Koehler

© Copyright 2001 J.L. Koehler - All Rights Reserved
xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
1 posted 2001-10-02 02:01 PM


it's like asking a blind man what the color green looks like

I thought that was an extremely interesting line but overall the poem was extremely interesting within itself...the  topic was unique and it really had me locked into it..i enjoyed it a lot...wonderful job

carolinadreams
Member
since 2000-07-20
Posts 142

2 posted 2001-10-02 11:40 PM


Coming from a great writer such as yourself, that is definately a great complimenton a piece that almost blew my head off trying to come out.
Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
3 posted 2001-10-04 08:42 PM


Interesting write. Shows a mind in a state of confusion, in a whirl. Been there many times, hope you figure it all out. I can't say I ever did. Enjoyed your poem

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2001-10-06 01:11 AM


Amongst all chaos, there will be a resolution in time.  Yes, you may feel obliterated now but tomorrow you may feel something totally different.  Great expression, carolinadreams.

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
5 posted 2001-10-07 01:16 AM


But from the ashes of obliteration something beautiful may grow.....

Wonderful write hon!!

Isis

*The greatest warrior is one that does not need to fight* ~Isis~



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