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Dark Poetry #3
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2001-08-10 02:27 PM


Mocking Death he stole his shroud,
Softly meek,
Demands her be slow and loud,
Yawning at her gray boredom
She’s so weak,
Eventually she’s done,
Shakily standing accepts,
Quiet voice,
Shuttled out in shuffle steps,
To be held for ninety days,
Without choice,
They’re going to mend her ways,
But there is too great a crowd,
Huddled there,
Only noticed are the loud,
Whom squeak the noisy wheel,
They get care,
But dignity they will steal
From twelve in the space of eight,
Huddled there,
For destruction’s three month wait.

Gloom


© Copyright 2001 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
1 posted 2001-08-20 07:12 PM


I like this because it makes me think. It seems as if you're talking about some therapy program or something similar. I could be wrong, bit it is interesting the way you say what you do in your work.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2001-08-21 08:28 PM


interesting...the tale told could fit several circumstances it seems... but it also seems it was written with one particular one in your mind...

nice read...

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
3 posted 2001-08-24 07:41 PM


Yes, a variety of circumstances come to mind with this one, so are you going to enlighten us? Or leave us guessing??
Quite a tale you weave too, well done!!!!
Isis

*The greatest warrior is one that does not need to fight* ~Isis~



Ginners
Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 339
Mullica Hill, New Jersey
4 posted 2001-08-25 12:58 PM


I like this and so many things come to mind, maybe it is silly but the first thought that came to mind was the witch hunts in the old old days.  oh well that's just me.  but i like this.

"I'll build a wall if we can keep them on the other side"-NIN
"There is no always forever"-The Cure
"Even the losers get lucky some times"-Tom Petty

citizenx
Member
since 2001-07-31
Posts 189
motorcade
5 posted 2001-08-26 06:21 PM


somewhat cryptic I pictured worse case scenario for a woman's dignity being taken. A very haunting and dark musing.  Powerful words.

"the blizzard of the world has crossed the threshold and it has overturned
the order of the soul" leonard cohen

alibaster
Member
since 2001-07-07
Posts 299
In my own private hell...(PA).
6 posted 2001-08-27 11:44 AM


...and once again upon my attempted return from vaction
with Depression
your words amaze me,
linger in my mind
and scream the volumes
that I can not...
Thank you...
ali


"There is an alter ego which dwells within every soul." (C)alibaster 1999-2001

"Sleep those little slices of death, how I loathe them." Edgar Allan

[This message has been edited by alibaster (edited 08-27-2001).]

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