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Passions in Poetry

No Forgiveness (Dirty Girl)

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poutprincess
Senior Member
since 07-06-2000
Posts 737
Perth, Western Australia, Aust


0 posted 07-21-2001 02:40 PM       View Profile for poutprincess   Email poutprincess   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for poutprincess

Im such a dirty girl
filthy tramp
with nothing to offer
but temptation
arsenic laced
sickening
suicide brat
pity party princess
lets give applause
for a job well done
abusing neglecting
subjecting you to sick perversion
obscene
joke of a human being
let me be used
I deserve it
swallow me whole
abuse me
hate me
then just leave me for dead.

[This message has been edited by poutprincess (edited 07-21-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Dawn van Krieken - All Rights Reserved
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


1 posted 07-21-2001 05:06 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

joke of a human being
let me be used
I deserve it
swallow me whole
abuse me
hate me
then just leave me for dead.


(OK I know I said I had left Passions but this is a special exception)

You know that I have always enjoyed your poetry I would like to say that I enjoyed this but sorry I did not, I think I need to re write this put a bit more truth and love into. BULL that "you deserve that", that is [edit].

I have so much more I want to say, but not here. Check your e-mail box.  If this a goodbye from you then take care, the last year was great. If it is not then talk to you in two days time. I am going to bed shortly, I have had a long day. I am sure you will be going to sleep soon. Sleep well. Tell Trent I said hi.  

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 07-24-2001).]

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


2 posted 07-23-2001 06:44 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

as writing, this is just too powerful. . . the images here are just too close to the vest and too harsh for me to actually think of the person speaking about themselves in this way. . .

now then, if this is personal, let me just say that no one is ever this bad. . . everyone is good. . . you are no exception. . . the truth??  I don't think that it's here. . .

-------------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Dark Poet
Member
since 07-22-2001
Posts 100
North Carolina, USA


3 posted 07-23-2001 07:00 PM       View Profile for Dark Poet   Email Dark Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dark Poet's Home Page   View IP for Dark Poet

This was thought provoking as I read it.  I compliment you greatly on this piece as it snagged me as drug me word for word from beginning to end.

James
poutprincess
Senior Member
since 07-06-2000
Posts 737
Perth, Western Australia, Aust


4 posted 07-24-2001 03:43 AM       View Profile for poutprincess   Email poutprincess   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poutprincess

thank you for your kind replies, they were much appreciated.
~Dawn
Hellseyes
Member
since 07-25-2001
Posts 123
Kansas, USA


5 posted 07-26-2001 04:18 PM       View Profile for Hellseyes   Email Hellseyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Hellseyes

wow wowow owow owowo woow owow ow wowowow that was the [edit]..../Drew/

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 07-26-2001).]

Jessica
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 06-28-2001
Posts 474
South AL


6 posted 07-31-2001 03:07 AM       View Profile for Jessica   Email Jessica   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jessica's Home Page   View IP for Jessica

Dawn ~ I have felt much like this after I was raped. I have several poems on this same line but I have never been able to post them. I love your work and I hope to see more.
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 07-23-2000
Posts 3074
of Depression


7 posted 07-31-2001 01:30 PM       View Profile for Professor Gloom   Email Professor Gloom   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Professor Gloom's Home Page   View IP for Professor Gloom

I like this.
I even borrowed a bit of it to make my own poem of a similar nature.
"The Lady’s a Tramp"

Gloom
Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


8 posted 07-31-2001 03:14 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

let me just say that I know how you feel if you feel like this.

Someone once taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think of you as long as you like yourself.  That's what I live by.

brian thomas madden
Junior Member
since 07-08-2010
Posts 32
Ireland (between an ocean and


9 posted 07-10-2010 04:56 AM       View Profile for brian thomas madden   Email brian thomas madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit brian thomas madden's Home Page   View IP for brian thomas madden

the response I gave to your poem left a sour taste in moment after reading it now. If you ever find this know that the anger was misplaced, I can't remember how we slipped away from each other. So much time has passed and I understand far more than I did then. I wish I had the clarity and maturity to have been more supportive and to have been a better friend.
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