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Dark Poetry #3
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LadyPeach1
Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 282


0 posted 2001-07-19 08:11 PM


You never wash away your sadness with water or tears,
You always go to the refridgerator and grab another beer,
Dousing yourself hoping to cure the pain,
Drinking night after night, again and again,
Swimming in the sadness,
Longing to just be free,
Searching for happiness,
If you look close enough you will find it within thee,
Have you had enough yet?
It's not solving one thing,
Drinking away until completely empty,
Trying to cure the sting,
A heart so wounded by abuse,
Bother verbal and physically,
The only way to solve your problems,
Is to find your identity,
Some nights you lie awake and think about your life is but could have been,
I guess drinking is the only cure for now,
To keep you stable within,
The only way we can help you now,
Is just to wait and see,
You broken up, you are torn apart,
Inside you just wait and bleed,
Your song has been sung,
You have given up,
You have let evil win,
This cruel world is so full of hatred,
Its black and smothered in sin,
One day will come and you will finally see the light,
You will awake and open your eyes,
And everything will be alright.

Don't give up hope.


[This message has been edited by LadyPeach1 (edited 07-19-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 LadyPeach1 - All Rights Reserved
qtpieelmo
Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY
1 posted 2001-07-19 10:47 PM


I like this one a lot it reminds me of the past i am trying to leave behind   LOVE ELMO <3
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
2 posted 2001-07-20 10:51 AM


This is so sad yet so very powerful. The ending is a positive one which is always good to read.
I have just one suggestion and that is to have a look at the number of syllables in your lines. You had parts that ran beautifully and others that were a little out from the rest of the piece.
Other than that, there is a strong message in here and you should be proud of it.

~AF~

Psychopathic chickens are plotting against me...

WRBreezin
Member
since 2001-08-04
Posts 212

3 posted 2001-08-15 08:58 AM



The truth bleeds through in each word, nicely done.

Willie

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2001-08-15 05:38 PM


One thing that will always be true...if you try to wash away your problems, your pain with alcohol or drugs the problems will still be waiting for you after the high wears off...someday you will have to face them...James
LadyPeach1
Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 282

5 posted 2001-08-28 06:43 AM


Thank you everyone for the replies!  
LadyPeach1

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