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Dark Poetry #3
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Rebelious
Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 57
Kansas, USA

0 posted 2001-06-18 03:33 AM


In her heart I am not,
but in her trap I am caught.
So what am I to do?
My time on earth is at a few.
I give her many chances to love.
I guess i'll need help from above.
Can I change someone with a rock hard soul?
If not then I guess i'll pay the toll.
But I then think I should say [edit] her.
but the death of my soul would accure.
So I will sit here and be abused
So she can stay forever amused.
Soon enough I will be strong..
And something in her life will go dreadfully wrong.
For she will soon find out a heart is no toy.
and she will find in her life there is no joy.
Then she will know what she has lost...
and fineally she will pay loves dreadful cost.


[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 06-18-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Dustin Ortiz - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2001-06-18 06:27 AM


I've seen this in action a few times...James
allis4angel
Member
since 2001-04-10
Posts 82
Portugal
2 posted 2001-06-18 03:20 PM


So do I...

Nice poem.
Thanks for sharing it.

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

3 posted 2001-06-18 10:29 PM


Hi there.

I've edited your poem because profanity isn't allowed in our forums - part of the guidelines. I suggest you familiarise yourself with these to avoid future editing by myself and other moderators.

Thanks!

Severn

Rebelious
Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 57
Kansas, USA
4 posted 2001-06-18 10:40 PM


no problem.. I thought I edited it myself.. sorry bout that.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

5 posted 2001-06-18 10:48 PM


Did you replace the word with asterixes? The inbuilt profanity filter does that, so asterixes don't really serve as an 'edit' per se...thanks for you compliance, I really appreciate it...

K

BitterSmoke
Member
since 2001-01-02
Posts 54

6 posted 2001-06-20 04:03 PM



My mother asked me the other day when I was going to get another girlfriend.  I told her "Woman ain't no good".  She did'nt get it, but the old men at the bar understand me perfectly.

Hellseyes
Member
since 2001-07-25
Posts 120
Kansas, USA
7 posted 2001-07-29 12:33 PM


good write../Drew/
qtpieelmo
Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY
8 posted 2001-07-30 10:38 PM


I liked this  --but i dont understand what u meant bitter--lol   LOVE ELMO <3
Hellseyes
Member
since 2001-07-25
Posts 120
Kansas, USA
9 posted 2001-07-31 12:03 PM


hey this one is doing bamn good../Drew/
Jessica
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350
South AL
10 posted 2001-07-31 02:19 AM


I loved this ~ and bitter, al women aren't that bad.   I'm not... (I hope not) LoL
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