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Dark Poetry #3
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Hopelessness
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Hopelessness |
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Rebelious Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 57Kansas, USA |
"Hopelessness" the darkness shrouds the light, the bad overwhelms the good, each fighting with all their might. but loseing the ground they once stood. the sadness takes over the love, the rain consumes the fire, each praying for help from above.. hanging on for now, but already tire. the light reflects the dark, the good diminishes the bad, the fight left a dreadful mark. wasn't for you these feelings i wouldn't of had. the love kills the sadness, the fire eats the sky, I reflect on this hoplessness, and wish I would die. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Dustin Ortiz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LadyPeach1 Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 282 |
This was a really beautiful poem!! LadyPeach1 |
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Rebelious Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 57Kansas, USA |
Thanks for your reply peachy  I much apriciate it! |
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allis4angel Member
since 2001-04-10
Posts 82Portugal |
Beautiful way to say it. I loved. |
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TheGreatMango Junior Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 17Louisana, USA |
o o ITS Such a lovely poem YOU have such wonderful talent i love it |
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FoxXena Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted |
This is very beautiful, and very well written. The words are perfect, the poem is perfect...in short, I love it. |
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Rebelious Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 57Kansas, USA |
Thank you guys, it means alot... I didn't think anyone liked it This is nowhere near as good as some of the poems on this site, I have read some that are breath-takeing, mine is ok, but not great like those.. thanks for the replys!!! |
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mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
I think you underrate it. It's just a different form: angst rap. Good work. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wow.. very powerfully written, here. I loved this. The last line was alarming... I hope you don't always feel that way. THere's always hope. Kudos... I enjoyed this. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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Rebelious Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 57Kansas, USA |
I thank each and everyone of you for your reply's. Fading away, your reply meant alot.. I have read many of your poems and Like almost all of them, so to hear you say you liked this one makes me feel good thank you. |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
this definetly captures the essence of the word "hopelessness." I hope this is just poetic spirit here and everything is ok. You've got quite the support group in this forum and i hope to see more of your outstanding poetry soon. "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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Hellseyes Member
since 2001-07-25
Posts 120Kansas, USA |
wow i really liked this one... keep them coming./Drew/ |
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Dark Kisses Member
since 2001-06-24
Posts 364Flat lands of Kansas |
The darkness shrouds the light, the bad overwhelms the good, each fighting with all their might. but loseing the ground they once stood. -------------------------------------------------- Man, I really feel like this today! Very well written Mags |
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DarkenedShadow Member
since 2001-07-23
Posts 114Kansas |
Excellent as always Rebelious and I must say the feeling in this one is exceptional put well then in others. I don't know exactly where, more in likely in the whole thing. /Nick/ |
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Dark Poet Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 99North Carolina, USA |
WOW Nice structure and it really hooks the reader from the beginning to end James |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
Great poem But never give up hope--just remember no matter how terrible u r feeling at a given point some1 out there is feeling just a little bit worse--so hold your head up higher & smile--it will get better  LOVE ELMO <3 [This message has been edited by qtpieelmo (edited 07-25-2001).] |
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