navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Hopelessness
Dark Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Hopelessness Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Rebelious
Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 57
Kansas, USA

0 posted 2001-06-07 10:58 PM


"Hopelessness"


the darkness shrouds the light,
the bad overwhelms the good,
each fighting with all their might.
but loseing the ground they once stood.
the sadness takes over the love,
the rain consumes the fire,
each praying for help from above..
hanging on for now, but already tire.
the light reflects the dark,
the good diminishes the bad,
the fight left a dreadful mark.
wasn't for you these feelings i wouldn't of had.
the love kills the sadness,
the fire eats the sky,
I reflect on this hoplessness,
and wish I would die.

© Copyright 2001 Dustin Ortiz - All Rights Reserved
LadyPeach1
Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 282

1 posted 2001-06-08 11:38 AM


This was a really beautiful poem!!  
LadyPeach1

Rebelious
Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 57
Kansas, USA
2 posted 2001-06-09 12:24 PM


Thanks for your reply peachy   I much apriciate it!
allis4angel
Member
since 2001-04-10
Posts 82
Portugal
3 posted 2001-06-11 04:36 PM


Beautiful way to say it.
I loved.

TheGreatMango
Junior Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 17
Louisana, USA
4 posted 2001-06-13 06:41 PM


o o ITS Such a lovely poem
YOU have such wonderful talent
i love it

FoxXena
Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141
where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted
5 posted 2001-06-14 12:39 PM


This is very beautiful, and very well written. The words are perfect, the poem is perfect...in short, I love it.
Rebelious
Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 57
Kansas, USA
6 posted 2001-06-15 04:31 AM


Thank you guys, it means alot... I didn't think anyone liked it    This is nowhere near as good as some of the poems on this site, I have read some that are breath-takeing, mine is ok, but not great like those.. thanks for the replys!!!
mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

7 posted 2001-06-16 10:15 PM


I think you underrate it.  It's just a different form: angst rap.  Good work.
Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
8 posted 2001-06-26 02:00 PM


Wow.. very powerfully written, here.  I loved this.  The last line was alarming... I hope you don't always feel that way.  THere's always hope.
Kudos... I enjoyed this.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

Rebelious
Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 57
Kansas, USA
9 posted 2001-06-26 08:38 PM


I thank each and everyone of you for your reply's.  Fading away, your reply meant alot.. I have read many of your poems and Like almost all of them, so to hear you say you liked this one makes me feel good    thank you.
obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
10 posted 2001-06-29 03:57 AM


this definetly captures the essence of the word "hopelessness."  I hope this is just poetic spirit here and everything is ok.  You've got quite the support group in this forum and i hope to see more of your outstanding poetry soon.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Hellseyes
Member
since 2001-07-25
Posts 120
Kansas, USA
11 posted 2001-07-25 12:04 PM


wow i really liked this one...
keep them coming./Drew/

Dark Kisses
Member
since 2001-06-24
Posts 364
Flat lands of Kansas
12 posted 2001-07-25 01:04 PM


The darkness shrouds the light,
the bad overwhelms the good,
each fighting with all their might.
but loseing the ground they once stood.

--------------------------------------------------

Man, I really feel like this today!
Very well written  

Mags

DarkenedShadow
Member
since 2001-07-23
Posts 114
Kansas
13 posted 2001-07-25 04:13 PM


Excellent as always Rebelious and I must say the feeling in this one is exceptional put well then in others. I don't know exactly where, more in likely in the whole thing. /Nick/
Dark Poet
Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 99
North Carolina, USA
14 posted 2001-07-25 08:03 PM


WOW Nice structure and it really hooks the reader from the beginning to end

James

qtpieelmo
Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY
15 posted 2001-07-25 08:05 PM


Great poem     But never give up hope--just remember no matter how terrible u r feeling at a given point some1 out there is feeling just a little bit worse--so hold your head up higher & smile--it will get better   LOVE ELMO <3

[This message has been edited by qtpieelmo (edited 07-25-2001).]

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Hopelessness

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary