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carolinadreams
Member
since 2000-07-20
Posts 142


0 posted 2001-06-01 04:14 PM



they all seem to die around me
can't they just stay the field
they always seem to try around me
doesn't anyone else feel
they always seem so afraid
but they confide within me

they all try to climb my wall
in the end i catch what falls
they used to be so sweetly secure
why can i only see the pure
they used to mean what was said
they used to live with heart instead

they just seem to be
why can't they just see to be
they all pace like an ox
why don't they test before they walk
they all ask so many things
i don't think they've asked
is it too much to be
they all seem to rely

J.L. Koehler

© Copyright 2001 J.L. Koehler - All Rights Reserved
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
1 posted 2001-06-01 04:48 PM


some well drawn contrasts, my reading of this is watching your children grwoing up
and how they change. Enjoyed reading

"difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true
Brutal and mocking but always therea crutch for enmity's saddest glare"

carolinadreams
Member
since 2000-07-20
Posts 142

2 posted 2001-06-01 05:14 PM


I can only hope that my boy some day reads this, for him to understand, I will not hope, but for him to just read, and for any poet to read is an honor. Is it too abstract?

Thanx

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
3 posted 2001-06-02 09:43 AM


they all try to climb my wall
in the end i catch what falls
they used to be so sweetly secure
why can i only see the pure
they used to mean what was said
they used to live with heart instead


I am  enjoying the intensity of your words

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
4 posted 2001-06-02 02:40 PM


no I did not find it too abstract, maybe if you you put a sub heading or a dedication for your son. ONly if you are worried about the poem being misread. I think it is pretty clear in the images that you have written that is about your son.

"difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true
Brutal and mocking but always therea crutch for enmity's saddest glare"

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
5 posted 2001-06-03 09:42 AM


carolina dreams,
I didn't know this was about your son but it was obvious it was about people who were close to you. I enjoyed this.
write on
Kethry

Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life.  Patty Hansen.



Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
6 posted 2001-06-08 07:04 PM


I didn't even know you had a son!!  With my Dinny (Dylan) I like you, can only some of my life examples and poems and zest rub off on him one day.  That when he reads some of my poems it will give him further insight into the woman I was...
Nice work hon, and nice to see you here again..
Isis

*Enlightenment is within all things*
~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit.



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