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coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077


0 posted 2001-05-06 05:59 PM


"savior clone"

she longs to leave
holds no faith in me

faith
once forsaken for me
in gowns of floss

so long ago
only the wind remembers
and whispers
of the loss

choosing our begotten
no faults forsaken
forgiveness is forgotten
giving is not taken

leaving love
faded fervor
forever fault
forfeit faith
vacuum vault

killing
vestigial vows
marriage moments
valued vignettes
killing
me with silence
herself
with cigarettes

tangled in the talons
of my rotting roots
she thrashes
thirsting for freedom
from the foundation
she smashes

I am her savior clone

for I cannot leave here
         alive
yet I cannot leave her
         alone



"The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty."
coyote



[This message has been edited by coyote (edited 05-06-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 coyote - All Rights Reserved
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
1 posted 2001-05-06 06:28 PM


The pain and confusion, hurt and betrayl in this Coyote!  Not nice for my first read of the morning.  When the heart and the head see different realities it is so confusing...
*hugs*
Isis

*War produces one thing - Cemetaries. And in cemetaries there are no enemies!*
~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit.



coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

2 posted 2001-05-06 06:36 PM


Thanks, Isis.
Sorry to burst the bubble before coffee. lol
Billy  

"The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty."
coyote

Swamp¤Faeryie
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393
fairyland....of course;)
3 posted 2001-05-06 06:39 PM


"forsaken for me
in gowns
of floss"
*shakes head* where do you get your ideas? You have a very poetical mind i must say,this is another excellent peice,you really saved the hardest hitting lines for last,the last couple of phrases really pack the punch,well done!!

sammi¤

much madness is divinest sense,and much sense the starkest madness~Emily Dickinson

coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

4 posted 2001-05-06 08:52 PM


Thanks, Sammi.
A strange one this piece.
Feelings like an open wound.  

"The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty."
coyote

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
5 posted 2001-05-07 04:42 PM


Wow! outstanding work, loved the word-weaving in this one!

~Tier

coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

6 posted 2001-05-07 08:00 PM


Thanks so much, Tiers.
Your comments are appreciated.  

"The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty."
coyote

Voiceless
Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind
7 posted 2001-05-07 09:05 PM


A message of hurt
wrapped with the need of confusion..
Interesting!
I like it!

~*Freedom Is Not Free*~ (Korean War Memorial)

coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

8 posted 2001-05-07 11:33 PM


Thanks, Voiceless.
I'm glad you liked it.  
I like your quote.
Truly freedom is not free.

"The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty."
coyote

~DreamChild~
Senior Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 544
in your dreams
9 posted 2001-05-10 03:10 PM


great write here. great imagery. and swell use of vocabulary. i liked it much.
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

10 posted 2001-05-10 05:53 PM


I echo Tiersden  

Excellent work m'friend.

Maree

coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

11 posted 2001-05-10 07:29 PM


Thanks, DreamChild for reading, your thoughts are appreciated.
Thanks Maree, for reading. I am tweaking this one a little too.  
Billy  

"The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty."
coyote

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

12 posted 2001-05-11 07:03 AM


Hey you - some wonderful lines in here...

'killing
vestigial vows
marriage moments
valued vignettes
killing
me with silence
herself
with cigarettes'

I love that...

(I locked your other thread for you btw...if you change you mind and want to repost your poem let me know and I'll unlock it for you)

Great poem Bill

K


coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

13 posted 2001-05-11 08:28 AM


Thanks Kamla.
I made a few changes to this one, but those lines are still intact.
As for "The poem in question", Ernest doesn't want to be here in the dark anyway. I put him under the bright lights of the "autopsy forum", and I think the doctors there kinda liked it.  

"The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty."
coyote

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

14 posted 2001-05-11 07:31 PM


ahhhhh...I think i see what you mean...lol...

K

Ginners
Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 339
Mullica Hill, New Jersey
15 posted 2001-05-11 08:41 PM


this was amazin!  it was so good  

"I'll build a wall if we can keep them on the other side"-NIN
"There is no always forever"-The Cure
"Even the losers get lucky some times"-Tom Petty

coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

16 posted 2001-05-11 10:54 PM


Thanks, Gin.
Just playin' some old Moody Blues, thinkin' about how out of "Balance" I am, and askin' the same "Question" over and over again.

"It's not the way that you say it
when you do those things to me.

It's more the way that you mean it
when you tell me what will be.

And when you stop and think about it
you won't believe it's true
all the love you've been giving
has all been meant for you.
  
I'm looking for
someone to change my life.
I'm looking for
a miracle in my life.

And if you could see
what it's done to me
to lose the love I knew
could safely lead me through.

Between the silence of the mountains
and the crashing of the sea
there lies a land that I once lived in
and she's waiting there for me.

But in the gray of the morning
my mind becomes confused
between the dead
and the sleeping
and the road
that I must choose."

Justin Hayward & John Lodge
from "The Moody Blues- A Question of Balance"


"The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty."
coyote

[This message has been edited by coyote (edited 05-11-2001).]

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

17 posted 2001-05-12 01:49 AM


"so long ago
only the wind remembers
and whispers
of the loss"

eternal, this

good lines!

Krawdad
/:-}==
=#===

coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

18 posted 2001-05-12 11:05 AM


Thanks, Kraw.
For reading I appreciate it.
Billy  

"The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty."
coyote

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
19 posted 2001-05-13 05:15 PM


You have captured my love life in those last few lines. I connected so amazingly well with this poem it just sent shimmers up my spine....well done coyote, but what am I to expect?  
I enjoyed it, and sorry about being late! I was on a cruise...hope to see more!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

amyX
Junior Member
since 2001-04-02
Posts 32

20 posted 2001-05-13 08:16 PM


your choice of words
shiver
like the curious wind
chilling the skin

amyX

Victims, aren't we all?

coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

21 posted 2001-05-14 12:47 PM


Thanks, Javier.
Glad ya liked it, and good to see ya back.
Hope the cruise was full of good experiences.
They call them the "love boats" ya know.  

"The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty."
coyote

coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

22 posted 2001-05-14 12:49 PM


Thanks, AmyX.
Your thoughts are most appreciated.
Billy  

"The rose, like the cactus flower, protects herself with thorns. We however, impale ourselves on their beauty."
coyote

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