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Dark Poetry #3
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Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast

0 posted 2001-05-03 03:02 PM


You never did understand love
thrashing against life as though
it were an affliction imposed upon
you, rather than a gift

You donned hatred in horrific colors
stained across your heart & mind
to protest your displeasure of
the world to any who would listen


I did listen

Carefully peeling away
layers of indifference
white noise confusion
& bitter resentment
I found a prize
Naked, vulnerable
invitingly beautiful
a treasure

but, I'd gotten too close
you had to destroy me

One ax after another fell
until every avenue to reach
you & those I loved,
became cut off forever

It wasn't enough

your parched throat desired
more than my suffering, you
longed for my life's blood
unsatisfied til I lay slain
before you, why?
why couldn't you just let me
love you?

you did not prevail
the sword aimed with
precision for my heart
tasted the bitter-sweet
warmth of your own
things have changed,
I have changed...

The curtain fell upon
your last act of obsession

and finally,

the end...


~Tier

© Copyright 2001 R.T. Webster-Mosby - All Rights Reserved
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

1 posted 2001-05-03 05:21 PM


This is a really nice piece of poetry Tiersdin...for all the pain and sharp imagery in here it reads so softly...you've used a lot of metaphor here...perhaps maybe too much to balance out the poem in places I think...but other than that it's great...I enjoyed reading it...

K

All obscurity starts with a danger:
Your dangers are many. I
Cannot look much but your form suffers
Some strange injury
Sylvia Plath

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
2 posted 2001-05-03 08:13 PM


Thanks Severn, I'll keep that in mind when I write from now on! *smiles*

~Tier

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
3 posted 2001-05-03 09:40 PM


I'm with Severn, but it is still a great read and speaks of courage and lessons learned.  Well done!  
Isis

*War produces one thing - Cemetaries. And in cemetaries there are no enemies!*
~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit.



Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
4 posted 2001-05-04 10:01 AM


Thank you, Severn, point kindly taken! *smiles*

~Tier

dragonpoe
Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida
5 posted 2001-05-04 05:45 PM


Enjoyed this one, very moving.

With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free..
dragonpoe

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2001-05-04 06:16 PM


We sometimes wonder why the object of our desire does not feel the same abut us...and in most cases we simply are not the right one...we do not fit the image of their desire...but in some cases as in this one there are tons of inner emotions and conflicts to consider and sometimes if we brave it out they will come around and sometimes they will take out all there pain and frustration on us...do we have the time to perservere...do we want to invest all that time...will they let us...if we win have we really won...will we always have to do all the giving...do we want that responsibility...James
amyX
Junior Member
since 2001-04-02
Posts 32

7 posted 2001-05-04 08:35 PM


I love this!  It reminds me of another piece
I wrote a long time ago, in which the
sword piercing the heart represents the
"release" needed to move on ... yet never
can that emotional surge be replaced
by the scars.  I love this, again, very
moving.

amyX

Victims, aren't we all?

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