navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Can I Please Have My Life Back?
Dark Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Can I Please Have My Life Back? Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

0 posted 2001-04-27 06:39 PM


In a hovel I sit
In a room on my own
This is the only place I know
That I can call home

There are cracks in the windows
And holes in the floor
There's not even a lock
On the broken front door

There's a mattress where I sleep
But not a blanket is in sight
As I know how much I'll shiver
With the coming of the night

No arms are there to hold me
Just the rats scratching in the walls
Sometimes I think I hear voices
Are they coming down the halls?

So frightened am I
As I shiver and shake
Then I reach for my comfort
A shot of heroin I will take

No one is there to stop me
No one really cares
And when I finally venture out
All I'm confronted with is stares

My clothes are what I live in
This is all that I have got
The money that I sometimes get
Is used for my next shot

At night I roam the busy streets
As in the day it hurts to face the sun
My mind begins to wander
Will I ever reach twenty one?

My skirt is so short
On high heels I do stand
On the street corner and freeze
As I try hard to warm my hands

My denim jacket hides the scars
And all the needlemarks in my arms
And as the men drive by and look at me
I try to lure them with my charms

So many friends I've known
Have died along the way
I'm so lost and oh, so desperate
I've forgotten how to pray

How lonely I become
As I leave the city lights
And go back to my "home"
To spend the rest of the night

As I close my eyes and drift
In and out of sleep
My body starts to sweat
And from the bed I leap

The voices they've come back
All around me they do roam
As I scream for Mum and Dad
To come and take me home

But I hear no reply
In the still of the night
As I stare out the window
At the early morning light

I left my family for this?
All their love I now crave
Oh, please don't let me take myself
Into an early grave

I need somebody's help
Bring my life back to me
Break these chains from my legs
Won't someone set me free?

Too quickly I grew up
So invincible was I
Oh, how I wish I was a child again
As I begin to break down and cry

The door creaks slowly open
As I huddle on my bed
Footsteps down the hall
To the bedroom is where they're lead

A friendly face looks down at me
So much warmth it does give
And for once I finally realise
I won't give up the will to live

As a hand reaches out
Bringing comfort to me
My eyes are finally open
And I begin to see

This is not where I belong
It's not where I should be
As I realise that my Dad is here
To take me back to my family

Still a long way do I have to go
But with so much love on my side
It will give me so much strength
And I just know that I'll survive


WRITTEN FOR THOSE WHO HAVE LOST THEIR WAY AND NEED OUR HELP

Suetang

© Copyright 2001 Sue Tancheff - All Rights Reserved
Ginners
Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 339
Mullica Hill, New Jersey
1 posted 2001-04-27 10:03 PM


this was a good poem and a nice tought, but i have been in situations very similar to that and no one can help you all just think you can

"I'll build a wall if we can keep them on the other side"---NIN
"There is no always forever, just this"-the cure

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
2 posted 2001-04-28 04:50 AM


Ginners
I realise that my poem wasn't necessarily true in the majority of cases but I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part that these people would get the help they need. I don't pretend to know what it's like but I just tried to put myself into the shoes of someone going through it. I just hope I didn't offend anyone by what I wrote.....Sue

Suetang

Kicking Kim
Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!
3 posted 2001-04-28 05:04 AM


I thought this was a very deep and meaningful poem, although it could be mentioned that this is not so realistic the imagery of the life is fantastic, you have captured the sorrow and insecurity so well!  You have given the poem hope and thats maybe the reason that you wanted to use the happy ending!  I liked it very much!

^*~Kicking Kim~*^

"Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression"

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

4 posted 2001-04-28 06:41 AM


It would be nice if all stories like these had such happy endings...on the front page of my newspaper this morning there was a story about an eleven year old girl who was prostituting herself for drug money.

ELEVEN.

So, I have to agree with Kim that this is romanticised, but the message is heart warming - and I do hope it happens for some..

thanks for sharing this..

K

All obscurity starts with a danger:
Your dangers are many. I
Cannot look much but your form suffers
Some strange injury
Sylvia Plath

Swamp¤Faeryie
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393
fairyland....of course;)
5 posted 2001-04-28 03:41 PM


wowie,this is well written,even if it is wishful,you have still expressed it well.Excellent work!!

sam

much madness is divinest sense,and much sense the starkest madness~Emily Dickinson

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
6 posted 2001-04-28 08:32 PM


Thank you one and all for your comments and I'm the first to agree that this is wishful thinking on my part a I realise only too well by watching the news and reading the papers that this very rarely happens in real life and I guess it is somewhat of a hopeless situation for many drug users....Sue

Suetang

Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
7 posted 2001-04-29 02:43 AM


Great poem. I enjoyed every stanza. I have never read a poetry this long, and I do not think I ever will unless they are this good. Again Superb work.

Ronil (One becomes god only when they have fully understood the role of being a human being.)

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
8 posted 2001-05-01 02:31 AM


I applaud you for this one. There are so many who have lost their way, I think the least we can do is offer them a little hope!

"Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our
feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." ~unknown


Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
9 posted 2001-05-01 09:53 PM


Xeonox
Thank you so much for lasting the distance as I realise this was such a long poem. Thanks also for your kind words about my writing.  Take care.....Sue

Eddie
Once again thank you so much for taking the time to read my writing and leaving such a lovely comment.  Take care.....Sue

Suetang

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

10 posted 2001-05-03 07:12 PM


wow!..
*applauds*
great message
great poem
and great job
i liked this one...keep writing

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
11 posted 2001-05-03 09:23 PM


anonymous albert
Thank you for your kind words and thank you for taking the time to read my poem.
Take care.....Sue

Suetang

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
12 posted 2001-05-04 02:31 PM


A nice poetic story
Well done

Gloom

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
13 posted 2001-05-04 06:30 PM


Professor Gloom
Thanks for taking the time to read this long piece.  Take care......Sue

Suetang

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
14 posted 2001-06-29 04:46 PM


Some times people find themselves in this situation because the family is not very supportive.  I will always believe that when someone offers love and support it does have a positive effect and hope can be reborn...James
a-alibaster
Member
since 2000-01-08
Posts 392

15 posted 2001-07-03 04:15 PM


Hmm, how odd things drift about at the same time...I just posted a poem called Addiction.
I can say that this poem was wonderfully writen and yes a heartwarming thought...
Take this from the mouth of a long time addict....Nothing or no one will help the addiction of an addict that does not want to help itself.
...and even if one stops doing drugs as I did.....the addiction will remain...it strangles you with thoughts of it every day!!
"Once an addict, always an addict..."
I too wish that all addiction would end as your poem, yet very little does. Life is cruel and fate twisted.
Until...ali

"There is an alter ego which
dwells in every soul..."
a-alibaster

"I am as I am, nothing more, nothing less,
I am tears of pain, tears of Death.

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
16 posted 2001-07-03 06:20 PM


James Michael
Thank you so very much for reading this long piece........Sue

Ali
How much I appreciated your comment and I hope life is good for you now.......Sue

Suetang

Necro Draconis
Member
since 2000-05-19
Posts 115

17 posted 2001-07-03 09:55 PM


Very descriptive. I loved it

Let Nature be your guide, and one will never get lost.

LadyPeach1
Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 282

18 posted 2001-07-07 12:15 PM


WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was THE longest peom i have ever read on here.  It was probably THE BEST one i have ever read also!  That poem was absolutely beautiful.  You had such a way of expressing your thoughts.  that was totally breath taking!  You are a wonderful poet!  You should publish that poem!  

LadyPeach1

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
19 posted 2001-07-07 10:44 PM


Necro Draconis
Thanks so much for reading this.

LadyPeach1
Thank you for your lovely encouragement and I appreciate you taking the time to read this. It is the longest piece I have written.

Take care......Sue

Suetang

K2001
Junior Member
since 2001-01-19
Posts 31
Near manchester in England
20 posted 2001-07-09 10:55 AM


I cant put into words how fantastic reading this was. Ive got a lump in my throuat and goosepimples allover after reading this, you really describe the life well, not that i know first hand but i have a friend who found his way back from the bottom and im gonna email him youre poem as i think he will love it, thank you so very much for capturing so much in so few words.

"Keep the faith"-Jon Bon Jovi

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
21 posted 2001-07-09 06:21 PM


k2001
It inspires me so much to keep on with my writing when I see that my words have affected someone like that.  Thank you so much for taking the time to read this long piece.  Take care.....Sue

Suetang

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
22 posted 2001-12-14 07:43 AM


Sue,
Powerful wrtie. And bless our dads. And bless your courage to get inside the head of someone who might have this battle. Well done.

qtpieelmo
Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY
23 posted 2001-12-14 11:16 AM


Wow! This is great! So vivid & a harsh reality!   ELMO
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
24 posted 2001-12-18 01:29 AM


Sue you do "life" really well, this was superb.

~*~ The Very Best Of The Season To You And Yours ~*~

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
25 posted 2001-12-18 03:42 PM


Larry
Thanks for taking the time to read this, it was greatly appreciated.

Elmo
Thank you for lasting the distance on this one.

Sharon
I'm so pleased you read this and I thank you.

Take care......Sue

Suetang

Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
26 posted 2001-12-19 10:44 PM


I pray everyone in this situation will one day have their life back. Oh Sue, this was so powerful. (hugs)

God bless America, my home sweet home.

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
27 posted 2001-12-20 04:22 PM


Elizabeth
I appreciate you taking time out to read this extremely long piece.  Take care...Sue

Suetang

thepoeticplumber
Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 185

28 posted 2001-12-31 07:56 PM


Sue, you did do a wonderful job in setting this terrible scene.  It may not help certain people, but on the other hand, if someone read it before plunging into this type of situation, I'm sure it would be much food for thought.  Happy New Year to you.  Roger


Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
29 posted 2002-01-01 05:04 PM


Roger
Thanks so much for reading this, it means a lot to me.  Take care.....Sue

Suetang

angel_face_35
New Member
since 2002-01-03
Posts 5

30 posted 2002-01-03 08:26 PM


Wow. That was really good. Similair to how I'm feeling right now. ~*~Kellie~*~
Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
31 posted 2002-01-19 12:46 PM


Sue,
You did a great job..... I was a junkie and understand well the desperation of it all.....   Keep up the good work....

           Thank You
         ~~~Connie~~~

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
32 posted 2002-01-19 03:35 PM


angel face
I hope things will turn out right for you and I wish you well.

Connie
It was so nice of you to read this and I hope life is better for you now and that you have many friends who love and support you.

Take care......Sue

Suetang

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Can I Please Have My Life Back?

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary