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Torrential Wind
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Torrential Wind |
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Adamly Junior Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 11Canada |
Torrential Wind By: Adam Vanderven© 04/07/01 Gyrating across sweet smelling waters Whirling from a place deep within Her scent comes like a gust of wind Her beauty which once I thought could not be surpassed Grows as clouds gather and intertwine Building a site that has become a drug to mine eyes The air is stunning and warm to the touch As it brushes violently against my skin Bringing a salty hue to my body Different, enticing, filling senses A fresh, anew feeling Mouth wide open, eyes wondering taking in all. Water all around banging against my firm torso Crashing, upon me like a ship at sea Skin feeling, moist, hot sending goose bumps Nerves spazing, awaiting, tingling Sounds rushing through quite moon light Salty drops following the contours of my skin Kisses embarking on a new journey Salivate, intensify barely touching unheard of places Stern rising hard, above troubled waters Releasing moist, sticky wetness and then, Musical rhythm moans faster, longer, deep in pleasure As waves bang harder against vessels The air raging salty drops falling fast and hard Crashing, banging, hurtling, almost over turning Holding steadfast gasping for dear life Deep inside places of untold utopias Boards creaking, bending, flexing under stress Thunder billowing deep across unsettled waters What began as a gentle perfumed breeze Escaped into cries of sheer strength and rocky seas Rumbling from far away Shacking, quivering, escalating, poising for release A great gust bursts, explodes, erupts into a foam Lighting emits into colors of ecstasy Gapping winds, effing waters now escape Thunder in the distance calms Winds final yet lasting kiss of night Turns away calm, resting, resolving its captive instincts Two ships lay upon still, unwavering perspired moisture TorrentialWind now satisfied searches again Bringing two lost ships home. [This message has been edited by Adamly (edited 04-08-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Adam Vanderven - All Rights Reserved | |||
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Some very good double imagery here, Adam. The comparison of lovemaking to a violent storm is done very well. (hot!!!) If I might make a suggestion, though? I would trim some of the "wordiness" in places. But then I didn't write this, so consider it merely my humble opinion, for what it's worth? All in all, it's a fine poem with a unique approach to an ageless theme. Thanks, Billy.  "I hate quotes, they suck!" |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you sir. This is full of so much imagery... |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Brilliant!! Wonderful analagy.. *War produces one thing - Cemetaries. And in cemetaries there are no enemies!* |
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