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Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2001-03-23 08:54 PM

*This certainly isn't one of my best, I just wanted to post one of my earlier poems from years ago when I was a teen*

Winter Of Night

In the winter of night
soul is frost-stung by sorrow's bite,
sparks of bitter envy smolder
chill falls heavy 'pon lowly shoulders,
mockingbird bellows hope laced tune,
shadows defeat lullaby, silence resumes,
pain, unending, is reality, so it seems
happiness is only but a dream,
desolation of heart grows ever strong
slashed with screams from grief's gong,
earth, eclipsed, mimics malachite moon
starlight fades, succumbing to gloom,
soul expires in the bleak of night
winter steal's heart's delight

~*By Melissa Honeybee*~

coyote
Senior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 1077

1 posted 2001-03-23 09:33 PM

"mockingbird bellows hope laced tune,
shadows defeat lullaby, silence resumes"

This evokes an image of "preoccupation with pain", for me.
Many times, I have been reminded to just listen to the birds.

"The poet is the priest of the invisible."
Wallace Stevens

Just A Woman
Senior Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 507

2 posted 2001-03-24 02:15 AM

Melissa, this is outstanding writing, especially for being in teen years. I compliment you. Strong emotions, no cliches. Outstanding.

"Often the test of courage is not to die but to live"

~Vittorio Alferi~

Deranger
Member

since 2000-05-10

Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there

3 posted 2001-03-24 04:06 AM

!
Wow, i wish i was that good when i was a teen--wait a second, i still am!

Anyway, your word choice is astounding and beautifully deliberate, at some points actually made my head hurt! Good job!

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

4 posted 2001-03-24 10:46 AM

I like this one Melissa. . . reminds me of some of the stuff I did then. . .

excellent. . .

----------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

5 posted 2001-03-24 04:26 PM

Melissa,
as a teen you had potential to be wghat you are today and even at that age your poetic nature showed.
Write on
Kethry

Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

6 posted 2001-03-24 08:40 PM

This is beautiful imagery! I simply loved it. Very nice job.

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

7 posted 2001-03-25 12:44 PM

~Thank you so much, everyone!

~

I re-wrote this poem tonight, I just thought I'd update it...
now entitled "Nocturnal Soliloquy"
Open Poetry 13 /pip/Forum47/HTML/000108.html

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