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Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion

0 posted 2001-03-19 03:42 PM


The Acquaintance

The secret races
as a pulse beats
within,
sustaining him.
He revels in its power,
which begins as a pinpoint
with his victim,
then spreads outward to capture
family, community, media.

Five months have passed -
still no suspects.

The morning paper read,
"the weeks the child's body spent
in the river left her
unrecognizable
and erased most of the physical
evidence pertaining to cause of death."

If it weren't for DNA testing,
they might have never
identified her.

Cuts on his hands have healed
(her nails tore off
when she dug in),
rain has washed footprints
(but not her screams) away,
and grass imprints
where she struggled
and died,
have vanished.

He’s sure of himself -
he returns to the scene
often,
but the excitement
is waning.

Meanwhile,
he runs errands, shops, works,
just like you and me -
he blends in;
his own family
utterly unaware
of his true self.

In the dusty, dark attic
behind a false stucco wall,
are his beloved tools
and souvenirs.

Soon,
soon it will be time
to climb that ladder again.

© 2001 Corinne Bailey



© Copyright 2001 Corinne - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2001-04-02 07:40 PM


With DNA we now have one more method of identifying those that have no respect for life...however in OJ Simpsons case he walked despite the DNA...this is not a perfect world...James
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

2 posted 2001-04-02 10:45 PM


Ouch Corinne...ouch ouch..

good to read you in here though - no matter how harsh the topic...

fine writing hon  

what inspired you to write this?

K

Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
3 posted 2001-04-03 03:16 PM


This is a good piece. I liked your form and structure.
dragonpoe
Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida
4 posted 2001-04-03 03:25 PM


How powerful and sad! Murder Is heinous in all degrees, but I think anyone who can murder a helpless, innocent child should be skinned, tarred, then burned slowly.
You wrote this wonderfully, with imagery, feeling and superb craft.

With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free..
dragonpoe

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
5 posted 2001-04-04 10:01 AM


Corinne,
cleverly crafted but scary scenario.
Kethry

Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life.  Patty Hansen.



svandersaar
Junior Member
since 2001-01-15
Posts 40

6 posted 2001-04-08 09:14 PM


This is excellently crafted! Detached and simple, it forces one to register the crime on the scale of reality instead of trapping the reader with dramatics. Great job, Corinne!  
Stacey

mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

7 posted 2001-04-09 03:09 AM


I agree, it is very well written.  Actually, I have read this one several times but not replied.  It is a very difficult subject to comment on.  Very difficult to read.  And very difficult to write about.  You have done an excellent job.

[This message has been edited by mirror man (edited 04-09-2001).]

Swamp¤Faeryie
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393
fairyland....of course;)
8 posted 2001-04-09 10:28 PM


oh this is awful!! You've deffinately made it effective,i am totally disgusted. Great peice of writing...great and terrible all at once.

sammi

much madness is divinest sense,and much sense the starkest madness~Emily Dickinson

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
9 posted 2001-04-19 08:24 PM


Very nice piece.. I LOVED the format.  Nicely done.

--Marie

subconsciously, i think i can eat so much to make my stomach hurt, instead of my heart.

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