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Dark Poetry #3
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Jellybean King
Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 153
Jelly, Bean

0 posted 2001-03-17 01:44 PM


Lead me
through cobblestone streets
barefoot, waist deep
in sleep
where rice fields
wave tall
become shadow puppets
behind fluttering eyelids
compelled by skillful
hands, dark magicians
bunraku, joruri, shamisen*

Lead me
over midnight dew
sweet grass, pink gardens
now, a wasteland
as far as the mind can see
thirsty and anxious
home
is a far away place
where sleepwalker
awakes

Lead me
to scalloped cliff edges
fishing villages, slumber
become a great white owl
spring out arms open
embrace the sky
the blooming mushroom
at last, sleepwalker
can fly

===================
bunraku = puppeteer in Japanese puppet theater, usually dressed in black
joruri = the narrator/story teller in bunraku theater
shamisen = musician in bunraku theater, also provides wind and rain sounds

[This message has been edited by Jellybean King (edited 03-19-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Jellybean King - All Rights Reserved
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

1 posted 2001-03-17 05:36 PM


This is great.

I will try to find some time later to do a critique.

Thanks for posting.

K

...and I have found a lifetime can be lived in one moment...

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 2001-03-17 05:41 PM


Hey, love the imagery!

great writing

Maree


I may know the word but not say it
I may know the truth but not face it
I may hear a sound a whisper sacred and profound
but turn my head indifferent.

Natalie Mercahnt

[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 03-17-2001).]

ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

3 posted 2001-03-17 07:50 PM


this is very well composed ... the imagery in the last stanza is remarkable for its active voice ... i like this piece.
taramw
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738

4 posted 2001-03-18 03:51 AM


*sigh* Beautiful! Terrific as always...

~ Tara ~

may you live all the days of your life. -- jonathan swift

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
5 posted 2001-03-18 06:24 PM


Wonderful imagery that can be construed so many different ways!! Bravo hon
Isis

*War produces one thing - Cemetaries. And in cemetaries there are no enemies!*
~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit.



JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2001-03-18 08:21 PM


Interesting...James
Swamp¤Faeryie
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393
fairyland....of course;)
7 posted 2001-03-19 02:01 PM


this was so interesting!! i really loved it,there seems to be a burst of extremely creative,almost experimental poetry in dark this week,loved this poem!!

swamp

much madness is divinest sense,and much sense the starkest madness~Emily Dickinson

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