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Dark Poetry #3
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-03-16 05:04 AM


Tonight my soul is death in breath
a universe rolls down my cheek--
too bad the river was not Lethe
how sad the journey out of reach...

I paid the toll--I paid it twice...
and doubled it with roll of dice,
I've been beaten black and blue--
and wondered at the shades of bruise

Healing deep, in trauma's curse,
yellowed greens of sickened verse
that appear upon a knot
that swells where never love should not.

I cannot take another day
to carry on, pretend this way,
I cannot hide another lie.
Tonight? I think my soul has died.


© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Swamp¤Faeryie
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393
fairyland....of course;)
1 posted 2001-03-17 12:37 PM


i really liked this,i liked your un-orthodox-ness(oh look i invented a word,lol) It was very creative,and you have described the feelings well!!

samantha¤


much madness is divinest sense,and much sense the starkest madness~Emily Dickinson

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
2 posted 2001-03-17 01:59 AM


Ah girl...dont I know how deep that bruise runs...and how long it takes to heal...hugs hon...Im here ya know
bslicker
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
3 posted 2001-03-17 11:45 AM


Oh my my my.....
I hear the death of of die'g heart in this. and someone reaching out for ......
Reach woman, Reach..
You penned this well..


Bernie

Bernie Slicker

Jellybean King
Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 153
Jelly, Bean
4 posted 2001-03-18 12:39 PM


...oh, this was so real and raw...very moving, powerful and sad! I liked the idea that the body, although beaten, can heal...the soul or spirit can die first...wow...

Jellybean King

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2001-03-19 01:42 AM


sam? thank you much for the wonderful compliment! (me tree talking buddy...grin)

and Paula and Bernie...sweet friends you are, I thank you much! smooches and hugs

jbk---every now and then? someone zeroes in on the "seed" concept I had in mind...I thank you...makes me feel good to know that maybe this time I communicated. You hit it right on the head my friend.

and for those who know I usually write from life? This was a rememory (thanks to C for that phrase) Love to all, and thank you. And my apologies for lack of replies of late...trying to ketchup...grin...thanks again!

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-04-14 01:17 AM


Such an emotional piece Serenity.
I do hope things are better now
~*hugs*~

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee."  W.S.

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
7 posted 2001-04-14 09:29 PM



Powerful! I all too often relate, there are some bruises upon the soul that can never fade!  An excellent write~

Take care,
Melissa~

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

8 posted 2001-04-14 09:31 PM


K...

HUGSHUGS

good work hon...memories (re or not) are pretty powerful eh?

K

All obscurity starts with a danger:
Your dangers are many. I
Cannot look much but your form suffers
Some strange injury
Sylvia Plath

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2001-04-16 01:28 PM


acire...you surprised me bringing this one back up...thanks for reading, you are the sweetest!  

Melissa...thank you lovie, for your continued friendship...poetry sort of helps me digest all of it...it's sort of the "defrag" of my spirit!  

K---I miss talking to you---Let's chat soon, eh? (Although I am trying to mend my ways from those UNGODLY hours...G was getting kind of upset   )

Thanks to all! with me undying gratitude and love, of course.

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

10 posted 2001-04-17 02:24 AM


great poem!!! i really liked this one..it gave me back the time when my soul had died..
keep writing

Kicking Kim
Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!
11 posted 2001-04-17 08:06 AM


Wow! very powerful words here create the perfect atmosphere, you can almost live the poem.  It touched my heart and I enjoyed it very much!

Truly appreciative
^*~Kicking Kim~*^

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