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Dark Poetry #3
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Broken
Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271
The woods

0 posted 2001-03-06 08:15 PM



IN THE SKY

There I am, in the corner
It's okay, I'm safe
I enjoy it, being so dead
The world has forgotten me
I'm the air and the wind
You can't see me
Though I'm right here
No-one can see me
And I'm flying all the time
You should join in
Please, join in
I do what I want at any time
I'm so free
I'm so free it hurts
All the time,
Flying on broken wings
In the wind and the air
So free it hurts
And you can't see me
You can't see me
You can't see me
I'm in my head
And I'm free
Flying inside my head
And it feels so good,
Yet it hurts
It hurts..


© Copyright 2001 Jay Hartson - All Rights Reserved
Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
1 posted 2001-03-06 09:35 PM


Hi Broken

I was surprised to see you. You're on just as often as I am, which isn't very often. Well anyway, this is a beautifully dark poem. I like it a lot. It feels great to fly, but not so great when you're carrying the weight of loneliness. You're always so good at expressing yourself. Please continue to do so.


and in the end
we still pretend
the time we spend
not knowing when
we're finally free
and you could be
-NIN "The Wretched"

Angel of Darkness

Broken
Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271
The woods
2 posted 2001-03-07 07:42 PM


Suprised and happy to see you to D.E. It's been a long time old friend. I don't know if you're going to read this, but anyway, nice to see you're still among us. I also noticed that you are a NIN fan to, Trent's quite genious I must say. He's been a guiding light through darkness for me, many times. Well.. take care my friend in the dark.

Yours truly
~Broken~


Oh God! Why the angels fall first?

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
3 posted 2001-03-09 05:25 PM


Check your email.

and in the end
we still pretend
the time we spend
not knowing when
we're finally free
and you could be
-NIN "The Wretched"

Angel of Darkness

JohnDLeclare
Junior Member
since 2000-07-26
Posts 43

4 posted 2001-03-12 05:48 AM


I really like this one. I don't comment much. What can you say about other peoples pain? I don't post much either, I don't like my own poems

hope this finds you well!
John

MissKlarmic
Member
since 2003-02-20
Posts 70
Canada,N.S
5 posted 2003-06-18 08:41 PM


Being free certainly is never what you would expect from the way alot of people talk about it, but youve got it .truly not all roses and daisys in the end. good job , youve definitly got the talent for a realistic writer eh
D'sWhisper
Member
since 2003-06-16
Posts 68
Washington, USA
6 posted 2003-06-19 05:27 AM


Quietly fervent. So hushed yet, furiously spread. I like it. ~DW~
Forgotenandgone
Member
since 2003-05-07
Posts 52
NC
7 posted 2003-06-19 10:58 AM


I like alot of your poems...I have not read one yet that has been below your other ones you have a talent keep writing...

_______________________________________
Please dont cry when i die
For i will be whatching in heaven
and i dont want it to rain on my funeral...

taramw
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738

8 posted 2003-06-21 09:43 AM


This was ... in a nutshell, profound. A superb piece of writing

It's better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life.
-- Sister Elizabeth Kenny

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
9 posted 2003-06-22 12:49 PM


Broken:

ahhh this one does ache now doesnt it?
but then again . . . they all do
I have yet to read something
of yours that I do not hold
in the utmost regard of being perfect
xxoo

rapturedmist
Junior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 30
USA
10 posted 2003-06-23 04:48 AM


"You can't see me though I'm right here" How that happens to me...a lot actually.
-RM

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