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Celeste
Senior Member

since 2000-11-11

Posts 597

0 posted 2001-03-02 01:48 AM

My heart whispers no wish
in the silence of the dawn
The moment that once was mine
moves on without me now
and it should be so

Forgiveness of my sins
is a gift I cannot give
anymore
and becomes a long road
in which the night's shadows
welcome me mockingly
and I no longer fight their coldness
as I have now found
home

"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

Socrates

ma miller
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 806

1 posted 2001-03-02 09:53 AM

this is a good piece ... i stumbled a little on the "anymore" line break in the second stanza ... i read it again without the "anymore" and it doesn't seen to take away from the intended meaning ... just MHO ... good read.

Temptress*Moon
Member

since 2001-01-15

Posts 240
Long Island, NY

2 posted 2001-03-02 09:31 PM

Dreamkeeper,
Loved this one!
Excellent write*S*
Temptress*Moon

I slept and dreamed that life was beauty was thy dream then a shadowy lie? -ESH-

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

3 posted 2001-03-03 01:15 AM

Good write full of pain and dark. Well done!
Kethry

Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.

Broken
Member

since 2000-03-12

Posts 271
The woods

4 posted 2001-03-04 08:03 PM

Such dismay and hopelessness.
Dark and brooding.
Loved it.

~Broken~

Oh God! Why the angels fall first?

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

5 posted 2001-03-04 08:08 PM

I hate to see and feel the pain of the downtrodden.. We do reach lows, we all do, but the secret is to identify the problem, deal and move on back towards the light and life...
This piece just dripped with loss and pain..
Isis

*War produces one thing - Cemetaries. And in cemetaries there are no enemies!*
~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit.

Celeste
Senior Member

since 2000-11-11

Posts 597

6 posted 2001-03-04 09:27 PM

Thank you all, so much for reading and commenting. Is much appriciated.

"Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm."

~Winston Churchill~

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