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AWood0813
Junior Member
since 2001-02-23
Posts 21


0 posted 2001-02-28 02:58 AM



Please before you read this poem understand I am not in insane or that you really should not use this to try and get a picture of what I am like in my normal life but at the moment this poem is a sort of inspiration at 2:30 in the morning after sitting up thinking most of the night. Again I attribute most of this to sleep deprivation.


"Confused"

Pepsi Can on the sill
dogs, cats, man, mice and of
more life? no thnx; had my fill
given up Wal-Mart cashier
"How may I help you?"
"Oh no not you my dear"
Jesus man; 'round my neck
where oh where do the sheep go?
standing, smiling, fatal car wreck
passionate sex, loving , caring
kicking, screaming, is the whore
brutal rape that he's daring
half full-half empty what can it be?
dead eyes, as the clock stands still
flee, bee, knee, her and me
racing thoughts in a square
ever hear the saying
life is "OH SO FAIR"?
underhanded poker game
pair beats royal flush just the same
infamous is still ONLY fame
clock spins; did not still
poor sad abused woman
overdose on sleeping pills
sad, sad, world hath society create
Satan ONE, God "Oh none"
oh I'm sorry;must be fate.

I'm really looking forward to what any and all have to say. Please just don't assume this is me.


AWood0813


© Copyright 2001 AWood0813 - All Rights Reserved
mystic requiem
Member
since 2001-01-26
Posts 144

1 posted 2001-02-28 08:29 AM


You know that is true...people think because you write something...it is a complete
reflection of the author. Sometimes quite the contrary. For example: I sometimes write
dark poetry. But that doesn't mean I dont' believe in God. Quite the contrary. My
dark poety USUALLY has an embedded message towards God. I found it hard to
leave behind the knowing that Jesus is the son of God. That much is embedded in me.

I found your poem fantastic. Speaks to me of the confusion that we all sometimes feel. I think your lack of sleep only brought out a good deal of your talent. We write from portions of our lives and then from other portions that we've read or heard. I see
good things for you as writer.

*soar on*




AWood0813
Junior Member
since 2001-02-23
Posts 21

2 posted 2001-02-28 02:52 PM


I also believe in God very much. But This poem is, I guess really just confusion over some of the things that go on in our world where it seems God or Jesus is not really there or deosn't seem to care.

A few of the ideas in the poem are from my own life while most thankfully have never happened to anyone I know or myself. As a reference to the pop culture of today, the fatal car wreck would be the recent PUBLIC death at the nascar track.

Finally one last question. Did you notice the title of a favorite movie of mine in the first couple of lines.(It is is also and was an american classic book before it became a movie)The title may be a bit jumbled but it's there.

Thanx for the insights mystic. May perhaps I should start all my writing late at night? or perhaps not. Truthfully I don't know how often I'll post on this board because I don't write much dark poetry but we'll see what I can do.

AWood0813

Swamp¤Faeryie
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393
fairyland....of course;)
3 posted 2001-02-28 04:42 PM


OOOOOH!!!!! I wish people would post more scatterbrained poetry. i love incoherant to us,but train of thought to you poetry.It's SO interesting!! i liked it!!Will you write without sleep more often please?

samantha

p.s. Of Mice and Men!!!! i love that movie,the book is better though


much madness is divinest sense~Emily Dickinson

AWood0813
Junior Member
since 2001-02-23
Posts 21

4 posted 2001-02-28 06:19 PM


Bravo' Swamp Faeryie thats the movie and yes I agree that the book is better but you cannot argue the fact that the movie with it's sight and sound is terribly sad.


Something that I am trying to convey in this poem.

I will try another train of thought poem soon (but only cause you asked so nice).


Alyssa
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385
IM ENGAGED!!!!!
5 posted 2001-10-25 12:02 PM


ok yeah this is stupid, replying to something that isnt really up now but wth
i like this piece alot
and me bein little ole amee nice as can be just has to tell yuh about it
wonder if you will find out i replied
oh well
i hope so
hey email me !
-amee

"If I made you mad today, would you still love me tomorrow?"-Incubus

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
6 posted 2001-10-25 10:28 PM


Aaron wow! i thought that this captured the fleeting thoughts of a madman really well kidding! no, i thought that the images within this were excellent- very vivid and ingenously set. the thoughts were brought together quite nicely with the rhythm you had set- it flowed very well and the pace suited the scattered images within the poem.
youve taken the contsruct of confusion and placed it very well within the poem. little things pop in and out of bigger things as in the line  "flee, bee, knee, her and me" and thoughts race and slow down, as i imagine it would in a state of confusion.
excellent poen aaron, i enjoyed it one helluva lot! keep writing, poet....

         

"......",said the wise mute.

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
7 posted 2001-10-25 10:29 PM


just decided to click the library thingy...loved that line with "man, mice and of" too...good stuff  

         

"......",said the wise mute.

JT
Member
since 2001-09-28
Posts 69
Arkansas, USA
8 posted 2001-10-25 10:53 PM


I like this a lot. (Does that make me crazy)
Oh well, I've written bizarre, no-sleep stuff before and it's cool reading someone else's.

JT

qtpieelmo
Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY
9 posted 2001-10-29 08:44 PM


Wow!!This is great, oddly enough I understood it!! I think I write my best when I'm messed up or haven't slept in dayz!!   great worx! LOVE ELMO
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