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Dark Poetry #3
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August
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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August |
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howpeculiar Member
since 2000-12-12
Posts 56 |
the pig -- ribs released, open like love and just as red -- has it’s tongue curled backwards in it’s mouth. Ferris wheel from hell my mind suggests As the spit drains barn stench, pinkness, and slaughterhouse temperament into the flames, sizzling. Later, I think of the curve of a bird’s breast broken open, of the wave of muscles in my arm, twitching underneath a thick lacquer of sweat, as steel slides in running with Barbeque sauce (that my sister touched with one tadpole finger and raised glittering to her tongue) Skin peeling from a sunburn, Auschwitz, Eyes with film over them flies suckling the juices like piglets pink in the sun, hair halos over their backs and wiggling noses. How if I were an Archeologist, it’d be brushing sand from it’s tusks and comparing the sow to the mountain range backbone of a Mastodon: white houses scattered, like monopoly pieces. One more arch to my wrist and I tear a chunk off for Jimmy in the gray shorts, watch the juice pool on his plate, oil spots sliding knowing I could stand there carving, till my heart is razed more human & flawed. |
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| © Copyright 2001 howpeculiar - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mystic requiem Member
since 2001-01-26
Posts 144 |
Intensely strange and oh so dark indeed. Woven so well! Still chewing on this one. *thanx*   mYsTiC |
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howpeculiar Member
since 2000-12-12
Posts 56 |
Thank you, mystic. Rewarding to know I’ve plaited something that requires meditation. Don't choke  , and Be well. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I think I'm going to become a vegetarian!  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
not quite sure...a Clive Barker barbecue... love the surrealism...and methinks I join Sharon at the salad bar...okay...maybe just a FEW bacon bits... This was startlingly graphic. I LIKED IT!!! (but then, I YAM evil yanno...) |
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mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
Well done. But I think I've lost my appetite. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
I prefer RED meat, but I guess pork'll do.  - The other white meat. Like it. Good job, well done, awesome, wow. Christopher |
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howpeculiar Member
since 2000-12-12
Posts 56 |
Hmmm... not quite the responses I was expecting. If it was truly well done, people would be losing their minds, not their appetites. Ahh well, one can't have everything. Thank you everyone for your responses, and sacrificing your breakfast lunch or dinner, whatever the case may be. To future replies: It would be productive (for me, at least) if you would consider writing out what you think this piece is actually about. My curiosity abounds... All, Be well. Thank you for you time. And remember, eat your veggies. |
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mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
...? [This message has been edited by mirror man (edited 01-30-2001).] |
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howpeculiar Member
since 2000-12-12
Posts 56 |
In explaining yourself, mirror, you seemed to have missed the whole of MY response. Yes, I was kidding... why would I want individuals to lose their minds when they read something I've written? If anything I'd be going for that taking-over-the-world-through-the-manipulation-of-poetry angle. A few billion mindless slaves (like consumers) is much better than a mass of uncontrollable idiots (like the government)... just ask Microsoft. However you do have a point ... and what might that be? "Well done" as in barbecue? Yikes. The rest of you: Thank you, really. The fact that you're taken aback proves you actually read through the whole thing; and for that, I commend you...lol.. I’ll pass out doggie bags the next time I post. [This message has been edited by howpeculiar (edited 01-31-2001).] |
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mystic requiem Member
since 2001-01-26
Posts 144 |
I am laughing through these responses. You have to admit your description was VERY graphic. Purely dark indeed! *not choking* mYsTiC please write me at Tapestries_of_Life@yahoo.com. I would like to ask you something. [This message has been edited by mystic requiem (edited 01-30-2001).] |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~I'm not even going to attempt to "nail" this. However, I will run over the things now scurrying around my brain. The opening literally scared me. (Maybe you know why). Anyway,...It seems like an image of torture and sacrifice - for someone else's pleasure. Man! Do I understand that! - You've covered everything. The colors and scents, the depth and rawness, the baring all - wide open - Love,...Blood and Flesh Red. (I remember love, in red (in blood) and I hate it). This here write is certainly hitting me hard in the chest. You've left me with not only an ill feeling,...but an ache that runs deep. Take care hp. *Peace. |
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howpeculiar Member
since 2000-12-12
Posts 56 |
mystic, Trust me, I'm glad that a sense of humor could be applied. As for the gruesome details: I actually held back. One would NOT want to come crawling around inside my head. I've written you, as requested. SF, Unfortunately, yes, I do know why. I think there are bits in this piece that you understand more than I thought to think about before I posted. While in most cases comprehension is gratifying, here I wish it was not so. Be careful with yourself, please. All, Be well. |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Oh, by the way, let me just say that I uh,...love the way you write. What I've read of you has remained. And I didn't mean to sound so brash? in my last reply. I was only letting you know of the feeling I was left with. Which in turn proves that your writing is affective. Take care now. *Peace. |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Normaly, I wouldn't finsih a poem that disgusts me like this one did, but that just proves it was written well because I finsished it. It is a compliment I swear. Joy |
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howpeculiar Member
since 2000-12-12
Posts 56 |
Thank you, Joy, for reading and giving an honest reply. Be well. SF, Please, no apologies. I'm SO glad you wrote what you did... I think you "nailed" this better than I could have hoped. Anyone who wants a brief interpretation of this piece, please look at SpitFire's first post. Now THAT's why I wrote this. THANK YOU, SF. side note to all: ...personally, I don't think that the details are that gruesome. I know that there are a few replies that were meant to be joking, but is this REALLY disgusting? If that has become the focus of this piece, I almost regret posting. [This message has been edited by howpeculiar (edited 02-01-2001).] |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~No. I do not find this write to be disgusting. Perhaps the actions of the 'pleasure seeker' are disgusting. (But that's all in how you relate it to what you know). Anyway, this poem,...no, disgusting hadn't crossed my mind. Maybe sad, that this takes place or has, but not disgusting. I believe it to be a raw account with this sort of energy running through it into me,...(heh, I've been back three times), I think I get it too much. ~*sigh* spelling. [This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 01-31-2001).] |
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