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Dark Poetry #3
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ThyWizard
Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 56
Chambersburg, PA, USA

0 posted 2001-01-23 09:11 PM


Fading barn on a sad gray hill,
Weeps in silence as all is still.
Cowering sun and bold faced clouds,
Hidden ‘neath mystic shrouds.
The barns red paint corrodes away,
The barn dies more each passing day.
The doors swing open and all is seen,
The other side a faded green.
A dismal place of sickly heat,
Raw wrists in shackles, hot coals on feet.
More to this barn that just its whole,
A gateway to the darkest soul.
The evil within’s been there since birth,
Uncontrolled it shakes the earth.
Fingers from the sky reaching for the ground,
THUNDER! LIGHTENING! FRIGHTENING    sound.
Epitome of all that’s lost,
Why oh God this costly cost?!

< !signature-->

" How can i feel if i can't breathe..."
- Godsmack


[This message has been edited by ThyWizard (edited 01-23-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Michael J. Lentini - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2001-01-24 02:08 AM


ThyWizard,
I liked this poem, although I'm not sure where you were going with the shackles and hot coals! I loved the image of the barn bleeding into the earth.
Write on
Kethry


Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.



Dark_kisses_Within
Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680
Kansas
2 posted 2001-01-24 01:31 PM


Great Expressions, great poem!

Mags


No person is worth your tears, and the only one that is ...... will never make you cry


dragonpoe
Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608
Palm Bay, Florida
3 posted 2001-01-24 03:32 PM


Very vivid! Adds so much power to this piece.

With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free..
dragonpoe

mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

4 posted 2001-01-24 07:57 PM


I know the feeling.  Good work.
Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
5 posted 2001-01-24 08:42 PM


wow.  very very very very vivid.  i can close my eyes and poof theres a barn.  keep writing and keep it real  
peace
jesse


True beauty is often hidden in darkness...

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