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Dark Poetry #3

Despairs

WinterTalon
Member

since 2001-01-14

Posts 141
Brooksville, KY, USA

0 posted 2001-01-16 04:53 PM

Delving deeper, diving down,
Eternal envy eyeing
Something secret, something sound
Pondering pensively, pining.
Always aching all around;
Instantly identifying
Ready rigors reaching 'round,
Seeking shame, so simplifying.

Hey, this is my first try. *frowns* Whatcha think?
< !signature-->

~The hardest thing is watching the one you love... love someone else.~

[This message has been edited by PoeticEnchantress (edited 01-16-2001).]

Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

1 posted 2001-01-17 12:29 PM

PoeticE,
I'm enjoying the alliteration. It works rather well. Nicely done. But I think I'm missing something, it feels like two poems.
Kraw'

/:^)==
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