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Dark Poetry #3
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Smile
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Smile |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
From my corner chair, I can watch you there, You seem so happy and wear a smile, I want to show that I care, but all I can do is stare, I feel so lonely and have no smile. The band begins to play, and you’re swept away, In the dancing I can see your smile, There’s nothing I can say, the music lasts till day, Holding you all the men do smile. I leave at morning light, I’ve watched you all the night, I’ll take the memory of your smile, I know that it’s not right, my courage is so slight, But I exists for the glimpse of a smile. I leave my corner chair, and you are still there, You seem so happy and wear a smile. Gloom 2K+1 |
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| © Copyright 2001 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ginners Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 339Mullica Hill, New Jersey |
very good, but i am a little confused witht he ending did you leave and tthe girl was still at the dance or did you get up to leave and she was looking at YOU and smiling, but i liked it and either way the ending is fine i am just not clear on it, but that is just me |
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Verve Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 348Singapore |
Would the memory of her smile be enough for you? Seems to me like there's a 'part 2' to this ... Anyway, i really enjoyed this read! ~regina. |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
a sad wallflower story... *sigh*...i wish to dance too...but as wallflowers go, we only get to enjoy their smiles... i hope one day to regain my dancing shoes..hope you do too..she may be waiting for you to ask her to dance  hugs, g "i was thinkin' if you were lonely maybe we could leave here and no one would know at least not to the point where we would think so..." |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Gloom, a million smiles would I gift if you would, but your eyes lift to see me waiting, waiting here past the shadow of your fear and smiles I've held just for you will be released before we through please look my way and simply see your smiles I seek so ardently.  Keth Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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silentsky Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 114 |
its dreamers like me (the same people staring at others smiles) who can only hope someones staring at their smile... i feel for you good poem, very touching. shira |
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Zyell Member
since 2000-07-28
Posts 121USA |
to live without light is the experience to live beneath the smile unable to feel is worse than death I like to read your words gloom.... Z |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Oh yes the extroverts of this world...they love to be around people....they come to life...they love all the attention...they dance and they sing and they smile..ha..and when they go home they are totally worn out and can be very boring at home...sorry just some of my own thoughts on relationships I shared with extroverts...lovely, lovely people...James |
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