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Teen Poetry #4
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Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2001-06-21 08:56 AM


I'm so torn inside,
it gets so bad i just wanna hide.
Hide away from all life,
away from it's pain and it's strife.
My emtions from deep in my heart,
they're enough to tear anyone apart.
I fell like shouting but instead I cry,
and another part of me will then die.
I can feel him watching me,
but I have mixed feelings,so why can't he see?
Why can't he see my pain and misery,
from all living things I wish to flee.
It's so painful in my strange world,
and around his finger, he has me twirled.
I can't get loose, and I can't fight back,
the pain makes me hurt until finally I crack.
I scream in rage at my own self pity,
Run! I leave my life behind in that cruel city!
I've found nothing but hate and tears,
I ran and ran only to find more and more fears.
If only I could find love in this hateful place,
and then I found I was in a weird race.
A race for gentle love and maybe something more,
and then I found him....just what I was looking for.

fall hard, practice harder not to fall

© Copyright 2001 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved
punkrockerrobin
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
1 posted 2001-06-21 08:57 AM


this was so sad! btw good poem!
robin

I AM WHAT I AM SO DEAL!

Linc
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy
2 posted 2001-06-21 09:01 AM


Hey,

     Very powerful poem, it's a great read. I enjoyed reading it and I think I might put this one in my library. I hope things get/got/whatever better for you. Your a great poet and I hope to see MORE of your work, until then

      -- Linc

       "Blood Moon"
   Host: Lark.crodo.com
         Port:1313

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2001-06-21 09:35 AM


remember these feelings...sigh....loved the ending  
Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2001-06-21 03:53 PM


This is a great post.  The emotions yoiur portrayed all throughout the lines were very powerful.  Nice work.. I really enjoyed this.  The ending was awesome.  *sigh* Good job.

--Marie

"Well the sun is slowly sinking down, but the moon is slowly rising... so this old world must still be spinning 'round. And I still love you." -James

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
5 posted 2001-06-21 05:50 PM


i liked this. great job

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Heavens Tears
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Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

6 posted 2001-06-21 08:30 PM


This poem was very powerful.  At first I noticed the flow wasnt the best, but the lack of it fit the poems rage wonderfully.  Great job!

*~*Amanda*~*

My tears roll right down my cheeks, but they all soak into my pillow.  I feel kinda sorry for it...

Love's Addiction
Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 57
all around you
7 posted 2001-06-21 11:05 PM


the rhythm in the begining was alittle off but other than that it was good.i liked it.

if love wants me, then it can come find me

anonymous albert ?
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-06-21 11:50 PM


strong emotions...i relate to many emotions expressed here...i hope everything gets better for you...bye

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
9 posted 2001-06-22 04:24 PM


Really awesome job here. I know these feelings......we all do, and if not then we will eventually. I liked this one a lot.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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