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Teen Poetry #4
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LoneWolf
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since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL

0 posted 2001-06-20 08:30 PM


"Upon a star”

Upon a star I wished
I found the love I missed
Living in world of dreams
Where nothing is as it seems

You came in to my life
Felt like I was living within a dream
Letting go of all I held close
Of that which kept me from the touch of man

Upon a star I wished
I found the love I missed
Living in world of dreams
Where nothing is as it seems

Your saving grace
Brought me to a happy place
Where life seemed so real
All at the touch of you hand

Upon a star I wished
I found the love I missed
Living in world of dreams
Where nothing is as it seems

When dreams began to fade
And all the promises seem to be unmade
Letting me go with what seemed to be the greatest of ease
Knowing it was you that I never could please

Upon a star I wished
I found the love I missed
Living in world of dreams
Where nothing is as it seems

Broken-down upon path of love
Searching to find my way out of these broken dreams
Trying to find the lonely star within my heart
Where that first wish was made

Upon a star I wished
I found the love I missed
Living in world of dreams
Where nothing is as it seems

Dying now from the hollow pain
A shocking reminder of what love has to gain
I know there shall be no other
For now until eternity all because I wished upon a star

Upon a star I wished
I found the love I missed
Living in world of dreams
Where nothing is as it seems



It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

[This message has been edited by LoneWolf (edited 06-21-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Colin Heffernan - All Rights Reserved
Spine Grinder
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since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
1 posted 2001-06-20 09:04 PM


this was really good. nice read.

fall hard, practice harder not to fall

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2001-06-21 12:30 PM


very well written.....heartfelt and sad....but very good  
obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
3 posted 2001-06-21 01:10 AM


i really enjoyed your theme in this one. tres bien fait!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

FoxXena
Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141
where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted
4 posted 2001-06-21 01:39 AM


This is a very well done poem. I love the recurring theme, its great!!    

*+*Would you be known by everybody? Then you know nobody.~
-Publilus Syrus*+*

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-06-21 02:22 AM


written very well...so sad yet sincere emotions expressed...i loved this piece it that sense and the reptition was a beautiful stanza...hope to see more...bye

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
6 posted 2001-06-21 07:34 AM


thank you for the replies

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
7 posted 2001-06-21 03:33 PM


This is a beautiful piece.  THe repeating stanza you used was perfect.  I loved this.  Very nice work.

--Marie

"Well the sun is slowly sinking down, but the moon is slowly rising... so this old world must still be spinning 'round. And I still love you." -James

Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2001-06-22 02:48 AM


Well done..very sad.......I liked it a lot.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255

9 posted 2001-06-22 10:23 PM


yes very said    i really hope things get better for you and im always here to talk!  it was really great going in my library    i love stars!

one morning you wake up afraid you are going to live

Shygirl82
Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245
Ilinois
10 posted 2001-06-25 02:19 AM


This was a very beautiful piece...sad...but nonetheless beautiful...Excellent job
~Nikki~

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
11 posted 2001-06-25 10:42 AM


than you all yet again for your replies

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

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