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obscurity of cloud
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since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....

0 posted 2001-06-19 09:37 PM


i dreamt of dreamers dreaming
spin the spun and spanned the globe
trip a tight rope robbing trill
enjoy your ever flimflam flow

"sleep wake hope and then"
call the callers number blind
moan the mournful mourning's morn
slide the slidden, breathe the brethren

can you feel the heartfelt pounding
pining at your windowsill?
please the pass the table turns
turning life like lulling love

"sun moon stars rain"
mix of many may melodrama mud
mercy on the stones of strife
beams down eternal and smiles my soul


"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

© Copyright 2001 obscurity of cloud - All Rights Reserved
Fading Away
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since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
1 posted 2001-06-19 09:51 PM


Wowers.. I'm very impressed.  I read this through once, and read it again, only aloud.  It sounded so cool.  Your use of alliteration really worked for the flow.  Awesome work.  I enjoyed this a LOT.

--Marie

"Imagine a pageant...
In my head the flesh seems thicker,
Sandpaper tears corrode the filth,
And I need you now somehow." --Silverchair

Child of the Stars
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2 posted 2001-06-19 10:48 PM


Now this....is my...kind of poetry.... awesome....simply greatness. Library, of course.....

~Carly

"Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught..."
   ~Edouard Manet

Child of the Stars
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3 posted 2001-06-19 10:49 PM



anonymous albert ?
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4 posted 2001-06-20 12:40 PM


wow!!!...i loved this piece...you written this with soo much beauty...amazing job!...hope to see more soon...and im glad to see you post again ...also itw as  agreat tribute.. ...ohh and CONGRATS on the 200!!!...sorry i keep forgetting to say stuff.. ...bye


[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 06-20-2001).]

stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
5 posted 2001-06-20 09:56 PM


this is really really cute!!!!!!!! Love it Love it Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
6 posted 2001-06-21 10:56 PM


i don't know if this made sense to any of you, but thanks for responding!  I'm still working on the sense part of it....  

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

punkrockerrobin
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Sparks, NV
7 posted 2001-06-22 02:41 AM


awesome poem! congrats on the big 200!!!
Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2001-06-22 03:26 AM


AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! E.E. Cummings ROCKS!
I love him! You did so well on this one. I loved it so much. VERY VERY VERY awesome job! Great post for your milestone post count. GOodjob here.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

9 posted 2001-06-22 03:39 AM


All I can say is "OOOOHHHHH!!!"  This tickled my funnybone!  

I love those alliterations you use so humourously here!  ESPECIALLY

"enjoy your ever flimflam flow"

Great job!

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Local Parasite
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Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
10 posted 2002-10-05 11:31 AM


Superb!  I enjoyed this greatly.

You really know how to work with consonance, and that's extremely evident in this poem.  Beautifully crafted.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » trying tribute to e. e. cummings (200th post)

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