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Dr. Jo-Bizz
Member

since 2001-06-06

Posts 97

0 posted 2001-06-17 10:53 PM

Defeat
lurks in the shadows
behind your eyes
mocking
my memories
of what no longer is.

Like maggots
those lies
infested your head
whispering in your ear
while consuming
your purity.

Horror
Confusion
Your hollow eyes
I search for traces
a glimpse
of what was

Benedict Arnold
your own self
Betrayal
an un-marked grave
for the innocence
of the boy I once knew.

But His word was in my heart
like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
I was weary of holding back,
And I could not.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

1 posted 2001-06-18 12:11 PM

hey,
wow...this poem was really emotional. i don't even know what to say. from what i understood it was about someone who died?? maybe that's wrong, but that's what it seemed like to me. plz tell me what it's about, i'm pretty curious. thanks for the read. later
-fear-

[This message has been edited by fearing-laughter (edited 06-18-2001).]

Dr. Jo-Bizz
Member

since 2001-06-06

Posts 97

2 posted 2001-06-18 12:13 PM

i guess in a way he died.... not physically, of course. the person i knew in him is gone though. that's what i was trying to say. hmm...

But His word was in my heart
like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
I was weary of holding back,
And I could not.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

3 posted 2001-06-18 04:36 AM

that sucks :-( thanks for clearing that up Jo. i really liked this one, and forgot to add it to my library. now i will. lol yay! keep postin, i luv ur stuff. later
-fear-

the_rescue
Member

since 2001-05-23

Posts 316
Japan

4 posted 2001-06-18 08:08 AM

good job jo- as always it's really close to home with me lol, anyways i liked the poem or whatever it was as you would say and I'll tlak to you later

iI'm not asking you to love me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

5 posted 2001-06-18 09:20 AM

Well done, i really enjoyed the read and I hope to see more of your work soon

Zu

scout
Member

since 2001-06-16

Posts 175
no place owns me

6 posted 2001-06-18 01:22 PM

I really loved the last stanza, the only thing that confused me, is why do you capitalize the first letter of some lines, and others your leave lowercase, it shows a certain inconsistency, i was just wondering if that was part of the poem, or you just never thought about it... anyways dr, i hope you had fun at the dentist!

----xscoutx----
"Son of man with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears." -

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

7 posted 2001-06-18 02:40 PM

Hey,

First of all, I am loving that picture

haha it's great as is this poem I really liked it a lot. Its very well done, powerful. I enjoyed it so much I am going to email it to a friend and put it in my library. Get it

-- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-06-18 03:28 PM

emotional and i really liked how you wrote this

...great job!...enjoyed...bye

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

9 posted 2001-06-19 01:24 AM

I Really liked this one. I thought it had so much powerful emotion in it. Well done here. One of my favs from u.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

10 posted 2001-06-19 10:02 AM

This was a very good poem. The emotions are very powerful... I loved the ending. It almost gave me chills. Nice work.

--Marie

"Imagine a pageant...
In my head the flesh seems thicker,
Sandpaper tears corrode the filth,
And I need you now somehow." --Silverchair

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

11 posted 2001-06-20 07:36 PM

wow, i liked this. it was powerful. good job.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

12 posted 2001-06-20 09:41 PM

I like how this was written, good job on the poem. This is the first I've read of yours, I'll be looking for more

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato.

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