navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Monsters and missionaries.
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Monsters and missionaries. Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2001-06-12 05:20 PM


Monsters and missionaries.

Camera’s zoom in, a close up eye,
Gods and monsters watch from the sky,

So daylight fades at noon today,
My audience just likes to play,

They listen to my conversations,
To my ramblings and revalations,

Voyeurism has gone crazy,
A life to live for the lazy,

Privacy has lost it’s flower,
Insane masses mad with power,

Help the missionaries count the cost,
All the souls that they have lost

Salvation wears a cloak of black,
Power cuts and they lose my track,

Run away to enjoy my privacy,
Another adventure all for T.V

I've just read 1984 by George Orwell again and I'm sick of seeign voyeuristic type programs... anyway better go before this turns into a rant.
Zu

"Death solves all problems, no man, no problem" J.V.Stalin 1918.


© Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved
obscurity of cloud
Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....
1 posted 2001-06-12 05:32 PM


Great commentary.  I really like the poem.  one thing:  "it's" is a contraction of "it is" and "its" is possessive.  Just a little pet peeve    Great work.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

2 posted 2001-06-12 05:54 PM


Marshal:

I read 1984 a while ago.  I really liked it.  Your poem is quite good.  Good imagery.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2001-06-12 06:15 PM


great write! This is very good...."1984" very scary.....it's creeping up on us......do we see it?!?
stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
4 posted 2001-06-12 09:59 PM


1984? that's the year I was born!! hey! that's not a bad year at all!! it's the most blessed year ever....erm...I think I'm gonna stop there...heh heh heh....lol, anyway...um..yeah, great poem...over my head and orbiting mars, but that's ok!!  
much love
Stace

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
5 posted 2001-06-13 01:09 AM


Privacy has lost it’s flower,
Insane masses mad with power,

hey andrew.. ...this is great..i loved that line...holds more then one meaning..i like that!
you did very well with this one...as usual.
i enjoyed reading it a lot...keep up with it!!..MORE!!!.. ..nice pic too...


"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

the_rescue
Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316
Japan
6 posted 2001-06-13 08:11 AM


that was good poem I liked the flow and stuff and 1984 was a really good book Iliked the concept and I think you caught the whole being watched thing in your poem


the rescue

in the silence of the night I hear angels voices singing your name oh how beautiful is your name as they sing over and over.  (SPOKEN)

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-06-14 12:09 PM


nice picture mr. Zu ...and this poem was a very interesting reda for me...i liked it greatly...hope to see more...bye Marsha

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
8 posted 2001-06-14 10:59 AM


I liked it Zu. It was really good. I can see how "1984" could do this too you. Like SEA said, it is closing in on us,it's only a matter of time till they try to make us bow down to BIG BROTHER.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
9 posted 2001-06-14 12:28 PM


Big brother is a really odd show...

anyway, I'll have to read '1984' again to really see what you are saying here but you have already done such a great job, reading the book won't make much of a difference.

Well done as per usual, Zu.  

~AF~

Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!!

angel_2401
Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH
10 posted 2001-06-14 01:54 PM


I like this, but 1984 was the year before I was born, so that don't help me none!    Oh, and Stace, let's not get to wrapped up in ourself. Okay? Just kidding girl. Anyway, this is a great poem, keep it up!

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Monsters and missionaries.

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary