Light poem for our coming summer

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Yezea, your Angel
Junior Member

since 2001-06-08

Posts 11
Canada

0 posted 2001-06-11 08:54 PM

For those which wanted to read more from me...
Its one of my poem i wrote in french and tried to translate it for those which dont understand french..
Its a little "light" poem i wrote some years ago before i gotta go to a "cadets camp".

Of this one im not really proud
In english dont really like how it sound
But i wanted to write, for you something
And those which understand french will like , I think

----------------------------------------------------

English part :

Mild quiver
Breeze of fervor
Which will go away
But will come back on our way

Warm summer breeze
This one which will come between Us
Too far I will went, but please keep these tears
Because in your heart i will rest

My own leaving make me sad
But i will come back with successful results, glad
You will only have to admireevery sunset, before sleep
And every night in your dream I will be

Mild quiver
Breeze of fervor
Lost into the warm summer winds
That whatever will stay awake in our dreams

----------------------------------------------------

French part :

Doux frissons
Brise de passion
Qui s'en ira
Mais qui reviendra

Vent chaud d'été
Celui qui va nous séparer
Loin là-bas je partirai
Mais dans ton coeur je resterai

Mon propre départ m'attriste
Mais je reviendrai avec le bonheur de la réussite
Tu n'auras qu'à regarder chaque coucher de soleil
Et je viendrai chaque soir dans ton sommeil

Doux frissons
Brise de passion
Perdue dans le vent chaud d'été
Qui peu importe restera toujours animé

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

1 posted 2001-06-11 09:08 PM

Um, hun? I like. I like a LOT. I like both versions... I don't really speak that much French, but I like the way it flows in both the French AND English. You did a really good job of translating! Keep it up, and if you need help translating, email me, alright? Don't stop writing, no matter what your first language. And don't worry about how it sounds to you in English. If I translated some of my poems to French, I wouldn't think they're all that great either. It all depends on what language you speak most. Once again, VERY good job!!

Rhonda

"Who did that?" "Charlie and Blake." "Who's Charlie and Blake?" "Rhonda and Amy."

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

2 posted 2001-06-11 10:06 PM

Whoa. I like this. French part included.keepem coming. sorry it's so short, but I can't think of anything to say. I'm speechless

"This is cactus land!!!"-T.S.Eliot

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-06-12 01:57 AM

Your bilingual poem was wonderful. I really enjoyed this! keep them coming.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

the_rescue
Member

since 2001-05-23

Posts 316
Japan

4 posted 2001-06-12 09:37 AM

all I can really say is WOW that was really cool. I mean putting your words in both languages, it was cool I like the french though I can't speak it, it flows well.

in the silence of the night I hear angels voices singing your name oh how beautiful is your name as they sing over and over. (SPOKEN)

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

5 posted 2001-06-12 06:03 PM

yes, I like this very much....

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

6 posted 2001-06-12 09:49 PM

Très bien, mon amie. Le poème est très beau et il m'a rappelé le vent d'été .

Le poème etait très aérée et léger, comme vous a dit. Pardonnez-moi, je parle très peu français, mon français n'est pas bon.
Maintenez le bon travail, j'aime tes poèmes!

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