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Teen Poetry #4
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MindlessPoet
Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 106
Texas

0 posted 2001-06-11 02:22 AM


Definitely not my best, but oh well.


"Unknowing"

I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know if I can think
Of anyone but you.

You fill my mind
With thoughts of love.
You must be a gift
From God above.

But at times I wonder
If you think of me;
If things are the way
They ought to be.

Or if you ever loved me,
Or saw the stars in my eyes;
If I stand alone
In a world full of lies.

How can I be sure?
I ask myself again.
I just want an answered question;
Is that a sin?

I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know if I can think
Of anyone but you.

*TiMMYBoY*
Yeah, that's me.  The Weird One.

© Copyright 2001 Tim Church - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-06-11 03:26 AM


I liked the ending.....a repeat of one of the stanzas before, but the effect it put off was great. I liked this one a lot. Very well written!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Angelwings
Member
since 1999-08-27
Posts 222
IL, USA
2 posted 2001-06-11 03:31 AM


Wow wonderful!  You portrayed your feelings quite well to me.  I appreciate you sharing.  Good luck in future writings.

*that what does not kill us makes us stronger!*

*Everyone can deal with pain in their own way, some things are just harder than others!*

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-06-11 03:39 AM


well written...i liked the emotions expressed in this poem...graet job!...and its nice to be seeing you post here again ...bye Tim

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Shygirl82
Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245
Ilinois
4 posted 2001-06-11 03:40 AM


I thought this one was really good...I thought your true feelings showed quite well.
Excellent job...
Always,
~Nikki~

Spice
Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.
5 posted 2001-06-12 01:14 AM


Great Job!
You expressed your feelings wonderfully. And as Javier already said, to repeat the stanze at the end gave a strong effect... Great job.

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