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Passions in Poetry

homeless

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quietlydying
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since 06-10-2001
Posts 1316
the wonderful land of oz


0 posted 06-10-2001 03:08 PM       View Profile for quietlydying   Email quietlydying   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for quietlydying

i had found this in a grouping of some old papers in the basement.  i had written it a few years ago in my days when i ran away a lot and hung out on the streets with the other gutter punks.  it was derived from the inspiration of a crippled homeless man i would see everyday and night in front of the red herring.


His long bony fingers,
with rough   worn skin.
Like segements of
a tree branch.
the rough bark

      cracking and peeling

gripping that filthy tin can.

The clanging of a few mere pennies
banging around inside that black hole
striking against the cold metal.

He begs for you to share just a tiny
Fraction
of your wealth.

So that he might have a meal.

- jen

[This message has been edited by quietlydying (edited 06-10-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 jennifer elizabeth - All Rights Reserved
anonymous albert ?
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since 03-23-2001
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1 posted 06-10-2001 05:44 PM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

such a real poem...sad but true...and you wrote it well on this topic...great job ...bye

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

obscurity of cloud
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since 05-11-2001
Posts 305
....:::::******:::::....


2 posted 06-10-2001 07:09 PM       View Profile for obscurity of cloud   Email obscurity of cloud   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for obscurity of cloud

This is intriguing.  It's very honest and real-life.  Great job.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

Spice
Member Elite
since 04-13-2001
Posts 4474
Resting in my cardboard box.


3 posted 06-10-2001 09:02 PM       View Profile for Spice   Email Spice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Spice's Home Page   View IP for Spice

Wow. Great description here.
Good job!
chasing rain
Senior Member
since 05-15-2001
Posts 1281
Canada


4 posted 06-10-2001 09:57 PM       View Profile for chasing rain   Email chasing rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for chasing rain

I really liked the way you described his hands. I thought it was very effective and realistic. Keep it up!

H@g RI
Dopey Dope
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San Juan, Puerto Rico


5 posted 06-11-2001 01:46 AM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

It's really sad.....gutter punks? Is that what people on the streets are called? Hmm doesn't sound too good.
Anyway, you really expressed what was going on in there well and the imagery was very nicely written.
Hope to see more.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies
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Twilight Zone


6 posted 06-15-2001 10:35 AM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

very interesting poem.  hope things are well now.  thanks for the read and keep sharing

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Mic

anonymousfemale
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 6304
Limbo


7 posted 11-08-2002 11:52 PM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

Excellent job with the descrptions, Jen. I like the last four lines in particular. Tragic circumstances often make the best poetry. Thanks for writing this. I needed to see it, believe it or not, at the moment.

Me

Consider yourself added to the hitlist.

 
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