navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Melissa
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Melissa Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419


0 posted 2001-06-08 08:48 AM


You’re beautiful eyes, and perfect face
Tells a story of it’s own,
A magical melody I won’t erase.
Through the sound of you’re voice.
And though time ages, you still stay the same.

Melissa ( you’re so beautiful )
make my heart shiver. ( Melissa )
Melissa ( you’re so sensitive )
A silent river ( Melissa )
Melissa ( I love you. )

The silent moonlight, reflects your beauty
In the clouds high above,
A mystical symphony makes me cry.
Revealing tears of love.
And though time ages, you still stay the same.

Melissa ( you’re so beautiful )
make my heart shiver. ( Melissa )
Melissa ( you’re so sensitive )
A silent river ( Melissa )
Melissa ( I love you. )

Melissa ( you’re so beautiful )
make my heart shiver. ( Melissa )
Melissa ( you’re so sensitive )
A silent river ( Melissa )
Melissa ( I love you. )

Melissa ( Melissa )
Make my heart rush
Melissa ( Melissa )
With this cute blush

Melissa ( you’re so beautiful )
make my heart shiver. ( Melissa )
Melissa ( you’re so sensitive )
A silent river ( Melissa )
Melissa ( I love you. )


© Copyright 2001 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved
the_rescue
Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316
Japan
1 posted 2001-06-08 09:34 AM


man that rocked hard core the way you placed your feelings in there and the repetition and just the imagery it was just really good library piece

in the silence of the night I hear angels voices singing your name oh how beautiful is your name as they sing over and over.  (SPOKEN)

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
2 posted 2001-06-09 02:23 AM


To be brutally honest, I did not like this one bit. The message behind it was very nice but the way it was written really got to me.

That's just my opinion though. I'll be looking for the next one.

~AF~

Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!!

katherine
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Canberra Australia
3 posted 2001-06-09 07:17 AM


sweet. I was so keen on the style of this one. But still i thought it was sweet.

fate can only take you so far, the rest is up to you

lonely*soul
Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)
4 posted 2001-06-09 03:14 PM


i like this..it sounds like a song..that whispers the part in parentasis...good job!
        *KiMMiE*

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-06-10 01:19 AM


I liked this a lot! What I interpreted as the parenthesis were the background singers.....I enjoyed this very much!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

fozzyozzy
Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia
6 posted 2001-06-10 01:22 AM


That reeked of awesomeness!  The repitition left me speechless. This is trully one of your best.  See ya around Hallucination

"This is cactus land!!!"-T.S.Eliot

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Melissa

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary