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Teen Poetry #4
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Your Affects on Me
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Your Affects on Me |
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PiXiEpUnKeR Junior Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 49IL, USA |
My mind flashes our memories it replays our joyous months keeping my eyes glued to the ceiling even after morning hours My stomach feel sick like a seastorm inside of me Swallowing the acid that we are forced to become It rises into my throat and invades my lungs The love turns to fog and it turns my chest into blacked lung My body stays listless life drawn from it and everlasting love invades it love locked inside The unfairness creeps around my toes and squeezes the remaining life from them The vines of sadness wrap around my fingers and throat But your kiss... oh your kiss! Your kiss will close my eyes in the night it will settle my topsy-turvy stomach Your kiss will clear my blackened lungs and allow sweet breath through my nose The love will spill through my mouth invading my lips and running to my toes Your kiss will loosen the vines Setting my hands free to caress your face Just one kiss will free my heart [This message has been edited by PiXiEpUnKeR (edited 06-08-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Andriana Fico - All Rights Reserved | |||
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HVNsnt82086 Junior Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 30United States |
I loved the images this poem gave. It was much more intense than the others, and gave a better idea of what you were feeling. Very good job! I look forward to reading more of your work! "So when you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong, and you'll finally see the truth...that a hero lies in you." *~Mariah Carey- Hero~ |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
very intense writing...the images were real...i enjoyed this greatly...hope to see more  ...bye  i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 06-07-2001).] |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
Swallowing the acid that we are forced to become wow...loved the imagery within this piece!!!!...very very awesome!!....dont give in to the kiss youre stronger then that!!!..hehe...good poem...loved the idea of the kiss breaking down all barrriers...good work.
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DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
wow very nice and interesting Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This poem has some INTENSE images. You've done a dang good job conveying the overall contrast between the kiss of the lover and the lack thereof. Good job. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done here! I really liked the last stanza you had. So emotional!! Great job on this.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
One kiss eh? Yes, that does the job I guess. It did it for me. I guess it does it for you too. Excellent write Pixie. Keep it up and keep sharing. hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Mic |
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